Peeping Tom
by Goggles and Chocolate
Summary: Mello moves in a new apartment, unfortunately, he won't be as peaceful as he expected, with this redhead neighbour stalking him from his window... CO-AUTHORING DLVVANZOR AND XXBEYONDXBIRTHDAYXX ON THEIR NEW SHARED ACCOUNT!
1. Chapter 1

_**Note:** We're back! Yes, it's **Dlvvanzor** and **xxbeyondxbirthdayxx**, on the shared account we will use to post our co-authored fics!  
It's still MxM, it's still **Dlvvanzor as ****Matt and ****xxbeyondxbirthdayxx as** **Mello**, and we still plan on making you cry, howl and drool!_

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**Mello:  
**I opened the door of my new apartment (should I say shithole, considering the state of the place?) after a fight with the lock, that fell dead on the floor once I gave up and shot it, out of patience (that I never had to begin with).  
Jake, one of my men, had found it for me, upon my request to move in a place where I could come and go without being noticed or annoyed. He already had brought all my cardboard boxes here so I just had to move my ass here, it had saved me a huge amount of time and shit. And even if it hadn't, it's always nice to have people you can order around. It had already been plain boring to pack, just as unpacking would be. But it would wait, as long as I had a bed and a shower, the rest wasn't all that necessary at first. And chocolate, of course. But if Jake valued his life, he probably already had filled the fridge with my usual luxury chocolate.

Yeah, he had, good boy.  
I grabbed some extra dark bars and headed for my new living room. Quite big actually. Well, there was no bedroom, so the bed was stuck in a corner. I would have to think about getting curtains, for the large window gave a perfect view on it, no matter if I moved the bed to another corner.  
A desk, my laptop, some closets.

I walked to the window, wanting to evaluate the usefulness of curtains, but finally decided it was not worth calling Jake for that, the window gave on a narrow alley and the only possible lurker would be the apartment lying on the other side of the alley, at the same floor of the twin apartment complex next to the one I would live in from now on.  
That's when I realized this window was the only window.

The bathroom was a tiny cube just wide enough to contain a shower, a sink and toilets, and the kitchen was not any better, a counter, fridge, a sink, oven and stove, and two stools. And a few cupboards hung to the wall above the stove.  
I'm glad I mainly eat chocolate, because there was no way I would wash the dishes without the assistance of a machine.

I went back to the living room, and I stood there, in the middle of it, snapping at my second chocolate bar, trying to decide what to do first.

That's when I saw that guy, smoking, his elbows resting on his window, directly looking at me. What the fuck does he think he's doing?  
I glared at him. What's with his glasses? Are these glasses? Looks like a nerd. Cute nerd. But nerd.  
I didn't move an inch from where I was standing, my eyes still focused on him as a scowl escaped me. Will he stop staring at me? With that stupid smirk on his face? Shit.

I turned on my heels and greeted him with the sight of my back, going back in the kitchen.  
I sat on a tool and decided for the curtains.  
I called Jake, because I needed my lock to be fixed first thing, and demanded him to buy these damn curtains.  
Which color? Like I cared. I guess black, for once, wouldn't do, so I gave him the extremely great responsibility to choose something. That's not a privilege, believe me. He'd better not bring me something flowery or pink.

I needed to take a piss so I crossed the living room again to reach the bathroom, and there he was again. Well, he was not really looking here, he was sat at the desk he apparently had the good idea to put against the wall just beside his window, so I could see his side as he sat at what seemed a laptop from the distance.  
Yeah, definitely was a computer. He was typing pretty fast, a cigarette hanging from his lips. Did that guy ever stop smoking?  
He was laughing to himself. Great. A retarded nerd.

But as I wasn't staring, I didn't start when he looked my way. No. Shit.  
Did he see me start?  
He smiled. I gave him the finger and left the room.

**Matt:  
**A prostitute moved into the apartment next to mine today.

No, seriously, I'm not even lying. I was standing there, having a smoke out my window, and there he was. Yes, it's a _male_ prostitute. A bitch'n sexy one, too. I mean like, on a scale of one to ten, one being Bowser and ten being Johnny Depp, this guy was easily a nine. And he'd probably be a ten if I could get a closer look at him.

Actually, I thought he was a girl at first. He was standing there, eating _chocolate_ of all things, with a hand on his hip, looking around like he wanted to go on a decorating spree. That's typical girl behavior, right? I wouldn't know.

Shit, he caught me staring at him. He glared at me, and I got a definite "I will kill you in your sleep" vibe, but I kept right on looking. He was much too hot to look _away _from, even if half his face was in shadow. He was probably about my height, and he was _definitely _thin; fairly muscled but in that sexy, lean way that I like. And he was wearing a black leather midriff shirt. Very hot.

He scowled at me but he didn't look away either. Why was he scowling? That was uncalled for. For all he knows, I'm perfectly straight, _can't_ tell he's a prostitute, and was _not_ just wondering how much he charged per hour.

I smirked a bit at the thought. Poor guy. He's even gonna get gawked at in his own apartment, because I can see he has no curtains and my computer is right by the window. Since my computer is where I spend most of my time... sucks to be him. Pun intended. ('Cause he's a male prostitute? Get it?)

To my disappointment, he spun around and walked away. As he turned though, his gold, slightly ragged hair flared out behind him, and I could see that what I had thought was a shadow was actually a scar.

He hit ten with a deafening crash and an explosion of fireworks. Ten, _equal_ to Johnny Depp, which was practically blasphemy.

Damn it, it was going to be hard to focus with a _ten_ living so close to me.

I watched for a minute longer, hoping he'd come back. When I saw no more movement I sighed and returned to my computer.

Fanfiction. Fanfiction fixes everything. Who needs Ten (I had named him Ten) when you can read about Link and Marth getting sweaty? I ask you.

I found a nice M rated romance/humor. I required a bathroom break, but it was funny as hell whenever it wasn't making my pants too tight in front. I decided to leave a review, laughing to myself, that said something along the lines of '*nosebleed*' and 'lol.' It's so hard to find good lemon these days. I type quickly, so it only took a few seconds.

When I was done typing, I glanced out my window again, chewing on my cigarette. I was a little startled when I found him staring at me. And I mean, like seriously staring. I smiled my best 'sweet' smile, in response to which he flipped me the bird and stormed away.

_That_ went well.

Okay, so now that my hot male prostitute of a neighbor would never be accepting me as a client, I had to again resign myself to the fact that I'd probably die a virgin. Oh, woe is Matt.

But that's okay. Fanfiction, aka fan_service_, makes everything better. I'm not being sarcastic when I say this: Why pursue a real interpersonal relationship when you can read about the interpersonal relationships of _fictional_ people, in explicit detail? I ask you. ...Again.

I couldn't help but keep looking, hoping for another glimpse of Ten. Unless he intended to crawl along the floor, I was _going_ to see him at some point. Maybe I should set up cameras. No, too stalker-ish.

I shut down my computer at midnight because I was already pushing what I could afford with my electricity bill. As I stretched, thinking about the extremely fluffy ending that I had just read, I noticed movement on the other side of his window. I could just see the top corner of his front door as it opened and then slammed closed.

Definitely a prostitute. Who else goes out at midnight dressed like that?

If I took my car right now I could probably pick him up... No, that would just be awkward. Sigh.

I had stayed up all night the night before, so I turned in early (midnight is early for a gamer).

The next day there were flowery, pink curtains blocking my view of my very sexy neighbor.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Note:** Thank you, wonderful reviewers!_

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**Mello:**  
The guy came to repair my lock later that day, and after spending some time on my laptop, I left around midnight for my headquarters.  
Jake showed up at 8am, I think this guy is kinda suicidal. I got home around 5am so I was asleep for only a few hours when he woke me up (does he think that being early is appreciated in the Mafia? We're not a fucking office, damnit!).  
After punching him so he would remember that waking up his boss at ungodly hours was NOT allowed, I had to punch him once again when I saw what he had brought: curtains. Pink AND flowery.  
It's common knowledge that I am gay, among my men (I've screwed many of them) but the leather and all black attire should have hinted him that I was not a Barbie-like fag.  
That guy is the son of one of my men, that's why I hired him, but I think he's not gonna last long...

I had Jake hang the curtains for me and went back to bed, pushing him outside first.  
Shit, these curtains were lame. But at least they blocked the view from the nerd.

When I woke up, I noticed that not only these curtains were vile, but they blocked the light. And as it was the only window, my apartment was dark even with the afternoon light.  
I'm not a vampire, and I needed at least to see a bit without living with lights on all day. And having the lights on would only make the curtains see-through so I wouldn't hide anything anyway.

I decided to take them off, but they wouldn't slide from the rod, so after a short fight, I pulled on them so hard the rod came with them. And I was greeted with the sight of my cute nerd staring at me mouth hanging open, then laughing at me. I think I'll be going on a killing spree soon, first Jake, then the nerd, then the guy who created this fucking rod. And probably the designer of the horrible fabric too.

I growled, standing in front of my window, I would probably have grabbed him by the throat if the windows were closer. Lucky him. He'll die later.

In other times, I would already have shot him straight or sent my men to do a bit of cleaning for me, but a guy with such a happy mood couldn't be a big threat, he was probably high or extremely stupid.

He didn't even look scared. I hated that. He kept on smiling. Yeah, he must be high as fuck.

I didn't want to play at who will stare the longest so I turned on my heals and sat on the border of the window. Not staring didn't mean I would leave the spot. Look at my ass you freak, that's all you deserve.  
I began unwrapping a chocolate bar, and ate it slowly. I could see in the reflection of the far closet's mirror that he was still there, sitting on the border too, and grinning like an idiot, smoking his cigarette.

Once I finished with my bar, I crushed the wrapping tinfoil in my hand, and skilfully threw it far enough for it to land on his face.  
I heard a "hey!" in my back, then the crushed wrapper hit the back of my head.

He giggled. Yes, GIGGLED. Which guy fucking giggles like this? Gay maybe? Interesting.  
I turned to face him, then picked up the tinfoil from the ground, grabbed a pen, unfolded the paper and wrote 'fucking nerd' on it before crushing it and throwing it again.  
Then I closed the window quickly, before he could send it back.

"You're not playing fair!" I heard him shout in a laughter, the sound a bit muffled by the closed window, but I still could see his toothy grin reflecting in the closet's mirror as I walked back to the kitchen to prepare myself some hot chocolate milk.

Shit, I spilled some on my leather vest when Jake knocked on the door, I was lost in my thoughts and totally forgot he had to come back to bring me a tv, dvd player, stereo and stuff.  
I took my vest off and went to open the door.

**Matt:  
**I was really starting to resent those curtains. There was a ten behind them and I couldn't even see him. How was that fair?

My jaw dropped to the floor when I saw the curtains rustling. Well, they weren't really _rustling_. More like 'being violently torn down and thrown to the floor.'

Ten looked up furiously and growled the moment he saw me staring at him. Was he really that unused to people staring? With a body like that? Girls and guys alike probably stop him in the streets to ask him out. Or hire him. I couldn't help but laugh at his irate expression. It was scary as hell, but it was so damn _funny_. Hopefully he wouldn't be able to figure out which apartment was mine. I could tell he didn't like being laughed at.

He scowled at me some more before turning around and sitting right on the windowsill.

Holy Zelda he had a nice ass. Definitely a prostitute. If I could see that ass sans pants, I could die happy. I really think I mean that.

Oh, more chocolate. It must be the only thing he had in the house, because this was the second time I'd seen him eating it.

I sat down too, smoking, trying to make my face go back to neutral, but I kept grinning like a crazy person. This man was simply too interesting. He was so delightfully _pissed off_. He'd probably kill me sooner or later, but it might be worth the ride. Who knows? Oh, if only I could get an actual _ride..._

A balled-up chocolate wrapper introduced itself to my face.

"Hey!"

He had thrown it at me on purpose! There was no way that had been an accident; we were simply too far away. Plus, I was gathering that Ten was an asshole, and this seemed like appropriate behavior.

So I whipped it back at him, hitting him square in the back of his head.

I laughed. Fuck I have such a gay laugh when I don't pay attention. Seriously, it's like a big 'you are queer' sign. Instead of 'you are here.' Get it? Heh.

I saw him write something on the aluminum, crumple it, and throw again. He slammed his window shut, missing my epic catch.

I read it quickly. 'Fucking nerd,' huh? Nice thing for a prostitute to say. He has really gay handwriting. He also nearly tore the wrapper, he wrote so heavy.

I was laughing so hard I could barely shout back. "You're not playing fair!"

The next time he walked by he was shirtless, probably just to spite me.

It wasn't fair. It just wasn't. My laugh gives me away, so I now have to suffer through Ten's version of the Special Hell, where hot shirtless men roam free at times when I'm expected to concentrate.

A few minutes later, I saw some guy come in. This dude was ugly as fuck. He looked like a cross between a cactus and a retarded hamster. I was a little cuter than a retarded hamster, right? Girls seemed to think so.

If he'd take _this_ guy as a customer, no way would he turn _me_ down.

The guy, who I named Hamster, followed Ten into the back of his apartment. Again assuming that our apartments have the same layout, it was straight to the bedroom. No foreplay where I could see it? Come on!

I sighed and focused on the hacking that I was getting paid to do. Some company in Spain apparently needed the equivalent of two million American dollars deducted from its accounts. Some other company in Russia apparently needed it added to theirs. It was child's play, and I don't even speak Spanish. Or Russian.

I looked up again just in time to see Hamster leaving. Ten was walking him to the door, depressingly clothed, but in a different leather top. I glanced at my clock.

HOLY FUCK! It had been two hours. This guy must really do the job.

I wondered if he was ready for another round. Well, he'd have to be.

I had plenty of empty energy drink cans, so I decided to use those. It was just an added bonus that I'd be polluting as I did it. I'd never been big on nature.

I pelted a crushed can at his window.

He jumped about a mile and I laughed as he whipped around. The moment he saw me he spun right around again, storming off.

That was fine. I had a _lot_ of cans.

I tossed another one. Then another. And another. Fourteen cans after that, he finally thundered back over to his window.

He ripped it open. Violently. "What the fuck do you want?!" he demanded at about forty decibels louder than was entirely necessary for the sound to carry the short distance between our windows. Pretty pissy prostitute. The alliteration made me chuckle.

"Hey," I said lazily. "How much do you charge?"

He looked confused for a moment, and then furious. I watched in fascination as expressions flitted across his face, tiny changes that most people probably didn't even notice.

Then he sat on the windowsill, pulling one leg up next to him and planting the foot on the sill, baring his neck and running long, thin fingers through his hair. He tossed his head and threw out his torso, letting a hand creep down towards...

Um, yeah. So basically he went into total whore mode.

And it worked. Oh, it worked. This wasn't gonna be cheap.

"500 bucks, one hour," he breathed, turning the full force of his eyes on me. Eyes that, I discovered, were the most beautiful shade of blue I had ever seen.

"Uh..." I was reduced to incoherency. "Uh, yeah, okay."


	3. Chapter 3

**Mello:**  
_Bang_. I jumped, started by the noise. I first thought that a bird had the good idea of committing suicide against my window, but cute nerd laughing his ass off on the other side of the alley told me the bird was probably more of an annoying bug. Once the surprise was over, I rushed to my kitchen. Chocolate, or he's going to die.

_Bang_. I'm gonna shoot him straight in his pretty face.

_Bang_. I'm gonna tie his ankles to my motorbike and pull him all around the city at full speed.

_Bang_. I'm gonna rip his intestines out and hang him with them.

_Bang_. I'm gonna drown him in acid and watch him dissolve.

_Bang. Bang. Bang..._ Holy fucking shit, I'm gonna kill all his family and friends and burn their remains and throw him in the fire!!!

I stormed to my window and slamming it open, I yelled at the top of my lungs and fury: "What the fuck do you want?!"  
The fucktard chuckled.  
"How much do you charge?" he asked me. Wait, what? I think my ears were about to start spitting out smoke when I realised what he was taking me for.  
My mind quickly gauged the situation and how I could take it to my advantage.

He wanted me to be a whore? I was going to give him satisfaction, yeah baby. Like what you see?

"500 bucks, one hour" I whispered, giving him my sexiest look and attitude.

He stuttered, looking completely hypnotized. I thought he would leave me alone after that, but his expression was priceless, I'm pretty sure he was drooling. I decided to push him a bit, he wouldn't obviously take me seriously with such a high price, and even if he did, there was no way that kind of freak had the money so it was safe.

"So, are you coming over or not, babe?" I simpered, licking at the melted chocolate on my fingers, from the bar I'd been holding all the time and forgot.

"Huh, yeah, hm, cash I assume?" he asked. No, he wasn't going to go along, was he?  
"Yeah, obviously." I replied.  
"What's your apartment number?" he articulated with difficulty, as a blush crept on his face.  
"1202" I informed him, trying to refrain the grin that threaten to take my face over as he seemed to load with excitement like a dead battery coming to full charge in seconds. He looked like a puppy with a new toy. Toy? If someone would be the toy there, that would certainly _not_ be me.  
"Ok, give me twenty minutes and I'll be..." I didn't let him finish.  
"...Mine." I smirked, and he blushed even more under my mischievous smile.

Did he really have the money? Fuck. If he wanted to throw what he probably had saved from his birth to get laid, I wouldn't complain. He didn't look bad, and the prospect of having a little fun with him AND getting 500 bucks to empty my balls in his cute little ass (well, I hoped that his ass was as cute as his face...) was all benefit for me. He could be broke and starve for months after that, that was his problem, not mine. Then he wouldn't have enough money to buy cans and he would stop throwing them at my window. Full benefit I tell you. He would probably even get evicted from his apartment because he wouldn't be able to pay the rent anymore, and I would definitely get rid of him. I liked the idea.

Wait. I hope he's not expecting me to ride him. No. Fucking. Way. Things are coming out my ass, not in (yeah, I'm a poet, I know).

I showered quickly before his arrival (now that my shower had been repaired by Jake, took him hours to fix the tap). I was still drying myself when he rang at my door, so I quickly put my leather pants on and went to open the door while rubbing my hair with a towel.

He was there, on the landing, squirming like a kid waiting for his fucking Halloween candies.  
"Hey hun, come in." I purred. I would play my role as long as it was funny, which promised to be a lot considering the way he was acting: shy. _That_ was cute. But the fall would be worse for him then, because he would soon discover that fucking with me (in all the ways you wanna understand that) wasn't all fairies and butterflies. I've never gone easy on anyone, I wouldn't begin now, not even with someone that seemed to be so easily broken. I love breaking things.

And yeah, he was gonna be my thing... Seemed to me that_ he_ was going to give me satisfaction, after all...

**Matt:**  
I nearly came in my pants when started sucking on his fingers. He was doing it on purpose. I mean, of course he was, he was a prostitute, but...

Evil. Prostitute. So evil.

How do you _pay_ a prostitute? "Huh, yeah, hm, cash I assume?" There. Very articulate. How can I be so calm in my head and still sound like such a fuckup when I try to talk?? Although, okay, I guess I'm not really calm in any sense of the word.

"Yeah, obviously."

Oh, right, that really should have been obvious. Well don't look at _me_ I've never hired a prostitute before! "What's your apartment number?" Damn my red hair. Damn it. I blush like a tomato and it's not cool at all. Oh well. He was probably used to n00bs.

"1202."

Must. Fuck. Evil. Prostitute.

Must... be fucked _by_ evil prostitute? How did that work? Did he have to do what I say, since I'm the one paying? Was I like, automatically on top?

"Ok, give me twenty minutes and I'll be..."

"...Mine."

Guessed that solved the problem about who would be on top. I could deal with that. I'm not a _girl_, but it was pretty obvious he was the domineering type.

Okay. I had money, but it was all digital. Debit, credit, and the likes.

But wait! I had a stash! Should cover it.

I ran like a madman to an envelope jammed between some old Javascript reference books. Haha, yes. Five hundred dollars cash, exactly. Just in case a situation came up in which only cash was accepted. Like if I had to hire my friendly neighborhood gay male prostitute.

I didn't have time for a shower because my balls were nearing a self-destruct countdown and I NEEDED to be over there IMMEDIATELY, so I just brushed my teeth. Was it really necessary to primp for a sex worker? Probably not. Not like _he_ cared. But hey, I was about to lose my virginity. It seemed like _some_ kind of special preparation should be observed.

I sprinted to his building, decided on the stairs instead of the untrustworthy-looking elevator, and made my way to his room.

I checked the number about eighteen times to make certain it was the right one. It would be so unbelievably awkward to walk into someone else's room expecting someone there to fuck me and accept money for it. How do you talk your way out of that?

When I was sure it was room 1202 and that I hadn't had some sudden bout of temporary dyslexia, I rang the doorbell.

He opened the door and I nearly fell over. "Hey hun, come in." He sounded like a panther, an image that was only aided by the fact that he wore black leather pants. And... oh my poor, aching manhood... he was already shirtless. It added to the 'panther' image, actually, because his torso was thin with sleek, with rope-like muscles that moved under his skin as he toweled his hair...

Nosebleed central, population: Matt.

I stepped in. Huh, he didn't have a bedroom; it was just a bed in the corner, where I couldn't see it from my window. I guess our apartments weren't identical after all. Where had he and Hamster gone, then? How the hell had they done it in the _bathroom_? Shower? ...Kinky.

I was suddenly scared shitless. This had to be a bad idea. He must be crawling with STDs. I was looking at Syphilis, Chlamydia, Herpes, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis, not to mention AIDS and Claps and... damn! Was this even worth it?

He tossed his towel over his shoulder, calmly, almost boredly took me by the front of my shirt, and then threw me so hard into the wall that I heard something crack (in me or in the wall? Who knows?), crashing his lips into mine to where I knew I'd have a bruise tomorrow.

I was totally dominated, helpless. I was pinned so completely that I couldn't move anything but my lips in response to his as he claimed those too. There was no doubt about what I had signed up for here- to take it up the ass until I couldn't stand. This was fine with me.

He growled and bit me, and I cried out because it _hurt_ and I could tell I was bleeding.

Ten licking blood off his lips... _my_ blood...

Holy fuck on a fuckin' fuckwich. Yeah it was gonna be worth it. Bring on the STDs.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Note:** Thank you, maaarvelous reviewers! Always Dlvvanzor as Matt and xxbeyondxbirthdayxx as Mello!_

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**Mello:**  
Once he came in, he stood there, still, and I could see he was analysing my apartment, the situation and me. Fuck, he wasn't there for me to show him around so I grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pinned him to the wall, if he didn't move then I wasn't going to wait here for ages. I kissed him roughly, just so I could see the fear growing in his eyes. I was pretty sure he had already realised I was not going to hold back, oh no...

His lips were so soft, and he tasted of smoke and mint (I could tell he had just brushed his teeth, nice attention, but his fresh breath wouldn't last long once he would have swallowed... hm, oh, hello, hard on).  
I bit him. Hard. Too soft... he needed a few bruises and cuts, and I intended on marking him so he would remind me for a long time.

He yelped, and I withdrew, to look at him, as I licked the blood he spilled on my lips. I saw fear disappear, and lust overwhelm him. That guy was a masochist. But it wasn't as much fun all of a sudden, if he was going to like what I would be doing. I wanted the fear back, and the coppery taste on my tongue fueled my sadistic side. I wondered how much he would take before calling his mother. He seemed so innocent, so inexperienced, he didn't even know how to _kiss_. No. He couldn't be.... Shit.

"Money" I demanded.  
He handed me an envelop that I threw on the nearby table, not averting my eyes from his. He looked helpless. I liked that.  
"You don't count?" he asked in a breath.  
"I could always hunt you down and rip your head off if you fooled me, Mister apartment 1401." I whispered with my most dangerous tone. It wasn't difficult to guess his apartment number, his building was 14 as mine was 12, and we were on the same level, but not on the same side of the stairs. And the apartments in these buildings were all numbered the same.  
He opened wide eyes. Fear was back. Fuck yeah.

I kissed him again, sliding a hand behind his head, and I nibbled at his bruised lower lip. He cried out from the pain and I took advantage of that to shove my tongue in his mouth. He seemed to hesitate before he returned the kiss, and once I had his tongue probing my own mouth, I bit it. Hard. Again.  
He didn't bleed, but he seemed hesitant to kiss me when I crashed my lips against his after that. Fear me baby, I love that...

I slipped my hands under his shirt, pushing it up, grazing my fingers on his torso lightly (for now...) and he understood he had to get rid of it. His fingers shook as he pulled it over his head and let it fall on the floor.  
The sight was delightful: he was standing there, his back to the wall, his breath heavy, his chest heaving, his hair a bit out of place, looking at me with 'I-don't-know-what-you're-gonna-do-and-I-don't-know-if-I-should-be-happy-or-scared' eyes that sent shivers through my spine. Lust shivers.  
_You're_ gonna be scared, and _I'm_ gonna be happy.

He was nicely built, I had to admit. For a nerd. I didn't expect him to have muscles.  
I scratched my nails all along his torso down to his abdomen, leaving red marks. He hissed. I smirked.  
Cute nerd really seemed to be ready to let me do what I wanted.  
"You're not gonna move or something?" I asked, licking his ear.  
He looked at me puzzled, then rose a hand apparently to stroke my chest, which I caught before his fingertips even touched my skin. "Did I say you were allowed to?" I pushed him hard against the wall again, and his back hit it with a loud thud as air escaped his lungs forcibly.

Then I molded my body against his, grinding my crotch against his obvious bulge. He moaned. I gripped his hair in my fist and pulled backward, as my lips hovered against his, and I whispered: "Suck me."  
His eyes went wide again. "I thought... since I'm paying... you would..." he stuttered.  
I tackled him so he fell on his knees in front of me, my hand still fisting his hair. I made a slow 'no' movement with my head, scowling, and still so slowly, unlaced my pants.  
His eyes fell on my erection proudly sticking out once I was done opening the lace, then back on me.  
"Suck." I repeated, my tone cold.

He still seemed to hesitate, so I used my free hand to slide a thumb at the corner of his mouth, forcing it open as I pressed against his jaw painfully. I pushed him forward with the hand that was still gripping his hair.  
"Do you want to do it by yourself or do you want me to choke you?" I didn't even hide the threat in my voice, although I knew it wasn't necessary, I could feel sweat rolling against my fingers pressed on his nape. I was scaring the shit out of him, and God, how I loved that. And he even paid for that, heh, life's being great with me lately.

He finally complied, and though I could tell he'd never done that, he was doing it pretty well. I felt his teeth once or twice, but he quickly understood as I twisted my fist in his hair roughly to warn him.  
I pushed myself deep in his throat as I came. I let his hair go once I was done, and he withdrew from my dick, coughing. I pulled him up on his feet. He caught his breath, semen dripping from his lips. I leant and licked it off his mouth and chin. I could feel him shake slightly.

"Virgin?" I asked him as I pulled him toward the bed.  
"Huh, y-yeah..." he could hardly talk. What would it be when the hour would be over if he was already in this state _now_?

"Good, because I have no rubber and I'm not planning on catching anything from you." I stated.  
He looked at me with disbelief.  
"What?" I spat, glaring at him.  
"I... I'd thought you'd be the one spreading diseases, not me..." he explained.  
Oh shit. Yeah. I almost forgot I was supposed to be a prostitute.  
"Who knows..." I smirked.  
I saw in his expression that he wondered if he should believe me or not, but whether he didn't care or he believed me, he didn't seem to be willing to stop now. He was lucky I wasn't a murderer (well, I was, technically, considering my job, but I didn't plan on killing him) because he was obviously completely unconscious and would throw himself in the paws of the first psycho around without noticing. Poor boy.

I pushed him roughly on the bed, undid his belt and fly, yanked his pants and boxers away along with his boots, and I was greeted by his hard on. Scared or not, he was turned on. Really, really unconscious...  
I crawled on top of him and bit his neck, then sucked, hard enough to leave a purple hickey there.  
I pulled him in a seated position, and I fisted my hand back in his hair. It felt like manipulating a puppet. And he was so limp in my hands, so willing, I felt powerful.  
"Lick me." I commanded, as I pressed his face to my chest.  
This time, he didn't dare hesitating. He began softly, slowly, glancing at my face from time to time, kissing first, then licking, making small circles around my nipples. I refrained my moans, but it really felt good. Softness has its advantages sometimes.

He nibbled a bit at one of my nipples then looked at me, probably searching for my approval. I stroked his hair, releasing it from my grip. Good puppy. Fast learner.  
He emboldened and suddenly his hands were all over my torso, along with his lips, tongue and teeth. It felt so good that I was suddenly ready for another round.  
I pushed him on his back, spread his legs, and without warning, I slid a finger in him.

He gasped. I quickly added a second and a third finger, barely preparing him.  
"No lube?" he managed to whimper.  
I spat into my hand, and applied saliva on my erection. "Nothing more than that." I smiled wickedly. He faltered.  
I entered him, not as fast as I wanted, but he was so damn tight that it was making it difficult for me to thrust in.  
"Relax, or it'll only get worse." I told him as he retained his breath and tensed like mad.  
He tried to breathe evenly as I pushed in, and soon, I was all the way in, and tears were rolling from his eyes.  
Heh, you wanted it, you got it, boy. Now's not the time to cry.

I picked a steady rhythm, pulling his legs wider apart, hardening my thrusts, not giving a shit for his pained whimpers.  
"It hurts!" he finally cried, gripping the sheets desperately.  
I pounded him even harder to the mattress.  
"Please! It hurts too much!" he was sobbing. Shit. What a pussy.  
"Please what?" I grabbed his jaw in my hand as I leant to growl in his ear.  
"Stop!!" he begged, his voice breaking.  
Still gripping his jaw so hard I would probably leave bruises, I looked him straight in the eyes, ready to slap him. But he looked at me with such puppy eyes that guilt pinched at my heart. Oh no. No one makes me feel guilty and gets away with it.

I flipped him on his stomach so I didn't have to see his eyes, and thrust back inside of him as I lifted him on his knees.  
He screamed in pain. I moved slowly, concentrating on my own pleasure building in my abdomen, but I apparently found his spot while doing that because he moaned loudly all of a sudden. He was still whimpering from the pain, but he relaxed a bit and it became easier for me to go deeper.  
I pulled him up so my chin was resting on his shoulder, and snaked my arm around his waist.  
We slowly rocked in this position, and his pants told me it wasn't as painful for him now. I didn't care anymore at that point, since I was close. His ring muscle suddenly tightened almost painfully around my dick, sending me through the roof as he came on my sheets. I bit him as my own climax took me over, leaving teeth marks in his shoulder, blood dripping on his pale skin.

I pushed him out of bed.  
"Over" I simply stated, glancing at the clock.  
"Huh... yeah... ok..." he muttered, dragging his feet on the carpet as he dressed with difficulty, his legs giving in.  
I was almost disappointed that he didn't walk like a cowboy. He didn't even claim the remaining ten minutes, he just seemed to be completely out of this world as he barely whispered a 'bye' and left.

I chuckled as I reached for the envelop. 500 bucks for a ride, and I'm not even sure he liked it. That was hilarious.

**Matt:**  
"Money."

Right, I was gonna have to _pay _for my STDs. I handed him an envelope and he tossed it, not even looking at it.

"You don't count?"

"I could always hunt you down and rip your head off if you fooled me, Mister apartment 1401," he whispered. Dangerous. Little red flags were going off in my head, telling me that this was a mistake on many, many levels. That I should get my little ass- literally- out of this situation. My eyes widened when I realized I was much, much too fascinated to possibly pull away now.

He kissed me, but it was barely a kiss. It was more of just... teeth. Biting. Chaste kissing was as far as I'd ever managed to go before, and it was nothing like this. I had hated it, incidentally. _This_, I loved.

He started chewing on me and I yelped, and I suddenly found my mouth invaded by something slimy. Holy Moses that was his tongue. What was I supposed to do with that? Think back to fanfiction! Quickly, Matt!

Okay, yeah, I knew how to do this. In theory, at least. You just kind of rub your tongues together, right? And he was leading so all I really had to do was go with it.

Again with the biting! Luigi! I didn't want to kiss this psycho anymore! Every time I tried he _injured_ me! Was I bleeding _again_??

His hand were in my shirt now, and I'd read enough to know that I was expected to take it off. I was shaking, but I managed.

He clawed my front and my nerve endings shouted in protest. I managed to tame a scream into a hiss, and then he tongued my ear. "You're not gonna move or something?"

Um... didn't know I was supposed to. I hesitantly reached out for the thing that had made 'Matt not hiring Ten' an impossibility- that chest.

He grabbed my hand and slammed me back into the wall with which I was becoming very friendly.

"Did I say you were allowed to?"

Crazy, bi-polar, evil... sexy... prostitute!

And then he was all over me, plastering himself against me and moving on me and knowing _exactly _what he was doing to me and I moaned because I couldn't help it. My dick had never received this kind of attention from another person before.

He fisted my hair and yanked until we were millimeters apart.

"Suck me," he ordered at a whisper. It was not a request.

"I thought... since I'm paying... you would..."

He tripped me and I landed hard on my knees, his crotch now directly in front of my face. I had dreamed about moments like this since I was fourteen, but I hadn't known I'd have to break my kneecaps for it to happen.

He shook his head, slowly, coldly. He unlaced his pants. I couldn't help but stare. Well, he was able to get it up for me. Clearly.

"Suck."

I didn't even know how to _start_ this. He 'helped' by forcing my mouth open and shoving my head into him. It was pretty obvious by that point, a quick, three-step procedure: Open mouth. Insert prostitute. Contract herpes.

"Do you want to do it by yourself or do you want me to choke you?"

It wasn't really a question, so I did the best I could with what I knew, which was next to nothing. I knew I was supposed to use my lips and not my teeth (right?) so I did my best, but every time I slipped he twisted my hair and made it clear that I wasn't supposed to do that.

Okay, so this wasn't so- HAWKK! Fuck! So that's what 'deep throating' is. Good to know... Disgusting, but good to know, and judging by his expression it felt good. Maybe he'd do it to me...? Shit I couldn't _breathe_.

He let me go just as things started getting a little dark around the edges of my vision, and I gasped in a breath, coughing. He dragged me to my feet and licked the cum off my face.

That was... _hot..._

He started pulling me in the direction of his bed.

"Virgin?" he asked briskly, as if it wasn't an uncomfortable question.

"Huh, y-yeah..." I managed.

"Good, because I have no rubber and I'm not planning on catching anything from you."

What the hell? I could only stare at him.

"What?" he demanded when I didn't elaborate.

"I... I'd thought you'd be the one spreading diseases, not me..."

"Who knows..." He gave me the most evil smile I had ever seen on a human being, and for some reason I couldn't explain, it lit me on fire.

I didn't care anymore. I was back right where I had begun- in my 'bring on the disease' state of mind. He pushed me over, stripped me, and climbed on top of me. He bit my neck and sucked, then pulled me up. I stayed limp, doing whatever he wanted. After all, he was the professional here. And Hamster had survived, so I could too, right?

He smooshed my nose right into his pecs and declared, "Lick me."

With pleasure! As if I hadn't been _wanting_ to since I saw him! Gentle was my style, as I was discovering, because even as rough as this was going, I didn't do to him the things he did to me. I kissed and licked my way along his torso, focusing on his nipples because he made a very interesting face when I did. I wouldn't have heard if I wasn't crushed to his chest, but he was moaning very, very quietly.

Probably wasn't used to 'gentle.'

He stroked my hair, and I couldn't help but feel like a puppy being patted on the head. It felt nice though. Really... sweet. The first actually gentle thing he had done, actually.

I decided to do what I wanted, see how he'd react. I ran my fingers all over his slim, muscled body, kissing, nipping, and tonguing wherever I wanted. He didn't protest. In fact, I could feel him getting hard all over again.

I found myself on my back, my legs spread-eagle, with a finger in my ass. Then two, then three. Hey! No, this wasn't right! I'd read about this stuff, and you weren't supposed to just _go _for it! "No lube?" It came out more pathetically than I intended it to, but I suppose my voice matched how I was feeling.

He spat and rubbed himself down with it. "Nothing more than that."

That evil smile again.

He shoved into me and I gasped. My rectum was being ripped apart. That was the only answer to the searing pain that tore through my body. Geeze, how had I expected _that_ to fit in something so _small_?! This wasn't right! This was horrible!

"Relax, or it'll only get worse."

Worse? How the fuck could it get worse?! Torn tissue wasn't bad enough? I looked at him. He wasn't joking, and he would proceed whether or not I decided to cooperate.

I took a deep breath and tried to relax my very confused anal muscles.

With a jerk of his hips, he was in even _further_. I hadn't known it _went_ further! How much tubing is in there, anyway?! I should have paid attention in anatomy class.

I didn't _want_ to cry, but I was. What had I done. This was nothing, _nothing_ like what I expected. Why had I given it up to the first prostitute who would take me? Why did it have to _hurt _this much? Was I going to be too scared to do it when I met someone I actually _loved_? Whose _name_ I knew? And when I met him, would I have to do this to _him_ like Ten was doing this to _me_? Would I have to hurt someone I loved just to show him I loved him?

I couldn't stop the tears, but I managed to contain the whimpers until he hit a rhythm, going harder, tearing me even further, the going easier now because I was _bleeding_ down there...

"It hurts!" I begged, clutching at the sheets. Please stop, Ten. Please stop. Please...

But he didn't. He went _harder_, faster, breaking me...

"Please! It hurts too much!" I was crying full-out now, as torn up as my insides by a combination of pain and a loss of naivety about the exact nature of the lifestyle I hadn't _chosen_ but had embraced...

"Please what?" he mocked, clenching my jaw with long fingers and speaking directly into my ear.

"Stop!!" My voice broke.

He forced me to look at him, and his beautiful, terrible blue eyes cut into me almost as hard as what he was doing to me.

For a moment, I thought he might actually stop.

But no. I almost laughed. Of course not. Not Ten.

He turned me onto my scratched-up front side and dove right into me again, forcing me onto my knees. A scream escaped me as I felt something actually tear, but then he hit my prostate.

A moan coursed through me, and 'moan' is exactly how it felt. Sweet Epona, so _this _is why people willingly took bottom. Holy fuck. I managed to relax, now that my body knew there was something good that could come out of this.

He pulled me into him, gripping me around the waist, and rocked me on him, and it finally didn't hurt. As much. Borderline agonizing, yes, but strangely... delicious.

A familiar warmth collected at my groin and I came with a gasp. He came a moment later, which I knew because he dug his teeth into my shoulder muscle to prevent himself from vocalizing, and because my ass was suddenly wet, hot, and sticky.

I could barely breathe. Holy. Fuck. I couldn't move. It was impossible. If I moved, my muscles would burst into flames. I don't know _how_ so don't ask, just _know_- they would.

I felt hands on my chest and he shoved me to the floor.

Alright, so I was moving, then.

"Over," he informed me.

"Huh... yeah... ok..." Shit, I had to try to get _dressed_ now... I managed, despite the fact that my muscles were in fact ready to combust, and did my best to not limp out of the room.

I'm pretty sure I said goodbye. Maybe. Not like _he_ cared.

I made it back to my apartment, hurrying when I passed my window so he wouldn't see that I was crying again. I curled up on my own bed, getting under the covers, where there was a welcome lack of men wanting to shove things into my various orifices. I felt violated (does it count as rape if you paid for it?), hollowed out, and... was there cum leaking out my butt?! Well, yeah, I guess that made sense.

Gay sex is scary.

I had a moment where I wished I was straight, but thankfully it didn't last long. Because although I knew that I wouldn't be able to sit up or poop comfortably for the next few days, I also knew that I'd never felt more alive than I did when _everything_ in my body hurt so much that it reduced me to tears. When I was completely helpless. When Ten's cold, cold eyes softened and shuddered for a moment when I sucked him into climax.

I was gonna need curtains, because I knew myself. I have an addictive personality like you wouldn't believe, especially for things that hurt, and I knew- I _knew_- that if I ever saw him again, I'd go right back and do it all over.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Note:** Sorry we kept you waiting, we were busy IRL! Thank you wonderful reviewers and readers, enjoy this new chapter and cliffhanger bwahaha_!

* * *

**Mello:**  
I saw Cute nerd through the window as I went to my bathroom for a cleanup. He seemed to hurry, and it was obvious he was crying, his shoulders were shaking like someone sobbing. What. A. Sissy. Take it like a man, huh...  
As I stood in front of the sink, I had to admit that I hadn't been gentle at all and that it had probably been hell for him, since my dick was covered in blood. I almost regretted it. Almost. Not because I felt guilty or whatever, but because although he was a virgin, it had been really nice, but there wasn't a chance he'd want to 'hire' me again after the way I treated him. Fuck, there was no chance he had 500 bucks more anyway, and moreover, I doubted I could have been gentler, I know myself.

I lounged in my couch with a stash of chocolate and flipped through the tv channels but I left for my headquarters out of boredom, glancing quickly by the window as I passed by, but all was dark on the other side of the alley. Sleeping already? Poor fragile puppy, I thought as I chuckled, shaking my head.

As I passed next to the alley, coming back from HQ around 3am, I saw Cute nerd at his window, lights on, smoking. As soon as I switched the light on in my apartment, I heard his window slam shut, and when I looked by my window, he was gone and the lights were off in his apartment. Is he avoiding me? Heh, who cares?

I quickly changed the sheets before lying on my bed, and not long after I had turned the lamp off, I saw his apartment come to life again in my closet's mirror's reflection. I didn't see clearly because of the distance between me and the wardrobe, but I could distinguish his form moving, then sitting at his desk.  
I stared a long moment but finally fell asleep while watching.

**Matt:  
**When I woke up the next day, I was not pleased to find that my ass felt exactly NO better. It was probably good that I hadn't eaten anything because it meant I didn't have to poop, which I sensed would be equally not-fun.

With a groan, I hoisted myself out of bed. Yeah, there was blood on my sheets. I had paid a stranger to make me bleed from the rectum. I ripped the sheets off in a mixture of annoyance and shame, and waddled slightly to the kitchen for a garbage bag. I was, of course, out of them.

I sighed, looking at the irreversibly stained cloth in my arms. I felt a twinge in my gut. Damn it. That was my 'addiction' spot. It's the spot that always tingled or hurt when I'd gone too long without smoking, hacking, or gaming.

I hurried down the stairs and outside, bunching up the sheets as much as I could and cramming them _waaaaay _down into the dumpster outside my building, checking over my shoulder. I buried them under some trash for good measure. Didn't need a murder investigation going on here. I _was_ hacking illegally, after all.

Too much of that 'nature' shit. I hurried back inside, locking my door behind me when I got back to my room.

My addiction spot wasn't letting up, and it was actually getting worse. I must just need a cigarette, right? Right. And I hadn't gamed in like... twelve hours now. A record for me.

Nicotine first. I lit up and drifted automatically to my window, leaning on the sill, looking at the closed window across from mine. Ten was in there somewhere, possibly sleeping, possibly ripping some other guy up. I took a deep drag of my cigarette, watching for any movement that would indicate Ten's activities. Nothing.

My gut tingled more, so I took an even bigger poison-laced breath. Okay, so I wasn't wanting cigarettes...

I put out my cancer stick, tossing it out the window, and booted up Fallout 3. Mutant killing should definitely help, especially with my Ripper. You could get right up close and personal with the mutant you were killing...

Except the blood made my gut tickle again, and this time it make my _butt_ tingle too.

Shit. I wanted him again.

_Yoshi_, I'm even sicker than I knew.

**Mello:**  
I woke up late. I had stared long at the reflection of my neighbour's apartment, then I had strange dreams, where a giant chocolate bar was running after me to punish me with a cucumber. God knows what the giant chocolate bar wanted to do with that vegetable...

And the previous evening had drained me in a way I could not exactly describe. Not that we did much, but it did _more_ to me than usual. That was not the first time I screwed a virgin, or made a guy bleed, but it was the first time a guy let himself be so completely and helplessly dominated.  
The problem was that a part of me loved it too much not to scare me. For the first time, I didn't like loving it. And that was _not_ normal. I felt like I could have lost control anytime, and although I don't give a shit about Cute nerd, I hate not being in control. I'm not scared about killing him while I'm having my little fun, getting rid of a body is as simple as abc, I'm afraid of my own emotions, because not having full control over them makes me weak.

As I passed in front of my window, I saw a tuft of red hair, but not much more. Cute nerd seemed to be sat on the floor. What was he doing?

My eyes fell on the curtains that were still lying on the ground in front of the window. The disgusting pink flowers were giving me nausea, I decided to give them their right place: the dumpster.  
Damn Jake, I didn't even have a garbage can or bags.  
I went downstairs with the horrible fabric, and as I was trying to fit it in the dumpster that was vomiting garbage bags, I saw something I immediately identified: bloody sheets. The stains had some creamy substance mixed with the blood, and it was not long until I understood who had put them in here.

I came back to my apartment, and he was sitting on his sill, but he was not smoking.  
He was_ waiting_.  
I opened my window, and his eyes lit up at the same time a blush crept on his cheeks.  
He was waiting_ for me_.

**Matt:  
**"What, another round?" he asked sarcastically.

I sent him my best imitation of his own smirk, which I had practiced in the mirror for a good half an hour. "How much?"

He stared at me in disbelief for a few minutes, mouth opening to respond but no words coming out. Yes, Ten, I _do_ actually have more money, believe it or not. I had braved nature _again_ and gotten more cash from the bank. I'm not screwing around (okay, well, I _am_ but...)

"Price didn't change," he finally said, recovering. The Ten I'd been watching was back. He gave me a fairly terrifying wink and did something with his hair that made it difficult for me to focus.

I didn't let my 'issues' show, I kept the smirk fully in place. "Really. Well- and I'm sure you already know this- I'm hardly capable of taking it up the ass again just now. How much to top?"

His mouth fell open. "Two... two thousand..." he stuttered.

"Fine by me." If I could divert a few million dollars for another company, I could easily do it for myself. And for a smaller scale of only a few _thousand_ it was unlikely anyone would even _notice_. I did it every time a new game system came out, this was hardly any different.

His eyes went wide, although he regained control of his jaw.

"Just tell me when," I said airily, and I smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

**Mello:**  
"Really. Well- and I'm sure you already know this- I'm hardly capable of taking it up the ass again just now. How much to top?" he asked, with this smirk plastered on his face. Was he planning on getting his revenge on me for being so hard on him?

I wasn't sure I wanted to know.  
I gave an amount that would dissuade him: "Two... two thousand..."  
I couldn't hide the astonishment that was still running in my mind. I was quite surprised that he dared asking me a second round, and even more that he wanted to top, this guy has balls, that is for sure, or he's totally a masochist. Or he's planning to do the same to me as a payback?

"Fine by me." was his answer.

I opened wide eyes. Where did this guy get the money?  
I never thought he would have it, and even _accept_ to pay that much to top me.  
But now, not only was I intrigued by the origin of his financial loads, but the guy himself was getting really interesting.  
Ready to meet me again after what I did to him, wanting to top when he never did that, and all this coming from the virgin nerd that didn't even defend himself when I harmed him.

Being on bottom did bother me, and when he asked me when he could come over, I regretted immediately replying a 'what about now?' without thinking. Shit.

He closed his window on a quick _ok_, and I didn't even have time to go back on my words. I was in a deep shit. No one had ever topped me. No. One.  
But as I always apply to myself first what I say to others (self respect and all that shit I wished I didn't believe in right now), I thought I should take it like a man, couldn't be _that_ bad after all, that guy was a sissy, I was not.  
And I could always beat the shit out of him if he tried anything funny (that is, except shoving his dick up my ass...)

And I was curious, I've already wondered a few times what was so pleasurable to be on bottom, guys I fucked seemed to like it so there must be something about it. Even Cute nerd, with all the blood and tears and all, had enjoyed it at some point. Ok, I know the prostate thing and all, I paid attention in anatomy class, actually. But experiencing it had never been acceptable for me, since I considered it a weakness. I top, always.  
Inferiority complex? Yeah, more than certainly.  
So being topped by a nerd that would more than unlikely never shout it out due to his lack of social contacts, and was the kind I could easily fight was an acceptable compromise to me.

Two thousand dollars. Holy fuck. I'd have to ask him what's his job, there was a flashing red neon saying _illegal_ above his head. Not that I cared, I'm no one to talk about that. But it added to the interest.

I saw him cross the alley to reach the entry of my building, and yeah... he's really cute. After all, being topped by a cute guy AND getting two thousand dollars wasn't the worst way to have my ass fucked for the first time (and the last, of course).

He rang at my door. I opened, and suddenly, all his confidence was far away, flying fast with the smirk, leaving only the shy nerd facing me, a bit uneasy. Oh my god, that was gonna be fun, being topped by someone who cannot be a little domineering for the life of him.

He gave me an envelop, that joined the previous one on the nearby table.  
But all of a sudden, my own confidence slipped away as he handed me a second envelop, telling me: "And one thousand more if you don't bite, don't scratch, or anything like that, and let me do anything I want without objection."

I hesitated. He was paying for half of the fun away. But curiosity took the best of me and, eager to know what he meant by _anything he wants_, I took the money. And I had my Beretta in the drawer just in case...

**Matt:**  
"Not that you'll be _able_ to," I added. Where had my confidence gone? Could he tell that I was suddenly scared out of my mind? "Bite or scratch or anything, I mean."

Crap, this was _not_ the time to doubt! I had to tie up this prostitute and I had to tie him up _now_, because his face and his hips and the _whole damn rest of him_ was getting to me and if I didn't relieve the situation I could die at any moment. My dick would explode and then I would die. Of shame.

Anyway, I'd already paid the 3000 bucks, and it was my turn.

Alright. How was I gonna go about this? Sensitive Pornograph style? Papa to Kiss in the Dark? Boku no Sexual Harassment? Kirapapa? The stuff that's implied in Gravitation but that they always fuckin _cut out_?

But I knew I couldn't do anything but 'gentle.' I thought I could work in 'kinky,' thus the extra 1000 bucks, but I knew I would never be able to rip him up like he did me.

I took a deep breath and summoned all the kinky lemon yaoi fanfiction I had ever read. Blood. Biting. Rope. Think of where some people take Fruits Basket with Kyo and Yuki. Alright, I could do this.

I dunno how convincing it was, but I picked the 'soft, irresistible' approach. If he was a panther, which he was, I would be a cat. Sweet, fragile, but strangely compelling. Yeah, that should work.

I walked up to him and, with gentle touches, barely brushing his skin, I undid his vest. I ran my fingers lightly down his chest, and I'm pretty sure he shivered. It might just have been from the cold, though. I let my fingers make the slightest of contact with his crotch area, then undid the laces. Same pants, I noticed. They were probably still clean from the amount of time he spent out of them yesterday. Well, I'd just have to help him keep them clean a little longer.

I dropped his pants and he was fully naked, while I was fully clothed. Symbol of dominance, right? Yeah, had to be, even subconsciously. It made _him_ vulnerable.

I held him by the face, hardly allowing contact but still making it clear that he wouldn't get to escape, and I moved our faces together until we were only millimeters apart.

Then, and only then, did I touch our lips together, a feather's pressure, grazing the tip of my tongue over his bottom lip, and pulling back.

It seemed to be working. I could feel his erection against me.

"Bed," I whispered.

He didn't move.

"That was not a request," I breathed in his ear, tonguing it. Earwax tastes bad.

He moved to comply with a little jerk back to reality. He smirked, and did what I said.

The power rush was intoxicating, and I wasn't afraid to open his front door while he walked over to his bed, retrieving what I had left just outside in the hall.


	7. Chapter 7

**Mello:**  
I was internally laughing at his acting. It was obvious he was shaking in his boots but trying to sound convincing. I loved that, I mean, this guy is hilarious and entertaining, actually. Come on, who wouldn't like a puppy that tries to look like a wolf? (and fails miserably).

My internal laughter ended abruptly when he unzipped my vest and his fingers left feather touches on my chest. I shivered as I felt a warmth begin to pool in my abdomen. Shit. What's with this guy, turning me on just like this?  
Then he lightly touched my crotch, and I had to hold back really hard, because at that moment I just wanted to pin him to the wall and say hello to his tongue with mine, but he had paid, and I had agreed, so I stayed still.

I ended naked, and then he kissed me, holding my face gently. Well, that wasn't really a kiss, he was more like tasting my lips, and I felt myself go hard. Holy fuck. Holding back, holding back, holding back... I tried to concentrate and breathe otherwise I probably wouldn't give a shit anymore that he had paid me to be tame, and fuck him, bite him and molest him right there on the floor.

"Bed", he whispered. I took a few seconds to process his words since I was trying not to rape him, but he brought me back to reality. "That was not a request."  
I moved toward the bed, smirking as my internal laughter was back at his poor attempt at being dominant.

He suddenly opened the door of my apartment, and I glanced at him, wondering where he was going, but he quickly came back with a plastic bag. Hey, I never agreed on this!

I opened my mouth to protest, but he pinned me to the bed, kissing me as I fell on my back, and I felt him grab my wrists and tie me to the bedpost. The bastard was quick! Too quick for me to withdraw.  
I refused to let him see I wasn't up for this, since I was tied and couldn't really do anything against it, so I went for the curious side of me and waited, a confident smirk on my lips. That's what he had meant by _"not that you'd be able to"_, ok.

He sat on my thighs, and stared at me. Long. I stared back.  
"The hour's running fast you know." I stated.  
"I could spend it looking at your eyes, it's worth it." he replied, not averting his eyes.  
Heh. What the fuck?!  
Seeing I was kinda speechless (what do you reply to a guy that tells sweet nothings to a_ prostitute_? Ok ok, it did something somewhere inside of me where I thought there was nothingness. But that's not the point.) he smiled, genuinely, and... Heh. What the fuck? (my vocabulary was a bit reduced, I know).  
"But if you're worrying that I take extra time, I have another envelop ready in my backpocket." he added.  
Heh. What the fuck?

He got rid of his shirt, and began stroking my chest. As he insisted on my nipples, I could feel goosebumps running along my spine and arms. He leant and kissed me, his tongue moving slowly against mine, his hands running in my hair.  
I could tell he wasn't experienced (I felt like a test dummy). But something was wrong: I appreciated it.

He trailed along my jaw, neck and chest down to my crotch with soft little kisses and licks, making me gasp. When he took my erection in his mouth, a moan escaped me. My wrists were helplessly fighting against the ties as he sucked me, my hands unconsciously wanting to grip his hair and push him further down. Just when I was about to come, he stopped. NO!!!

He smirked. The prick was totally aware of what he was doing (for once...).  
He spread my legs, and I knew I was soon going to regret my curiosity. He reached to something on the floor next to the bed, and that's only when I saw him coat his fingers with lube that I knew what it was.  
I couldn't help but prepare myself to a bad surprise. There would certainly be a moment where he was going to grab a whip, a knife or at least bite me or spank me for what I've done.

He probed my ass with one finger, he was _careful_. Oh God, he was probably planning something awful for later.  
Two fingers. Shit. Uncomfortable.  
A long moment passed, and he added a third. I hissed and shut my eyes tight.  
He massaged me with his fingers until I reopened my eyes. "Ready?" he asked.

"Like you care." I replied, growling.  
"I do." he shrugged.  
He finished to undress, and lubed his hard member.  
Then he positioned himself, and began to push in. HOLY FUCKING SHIT! THAT HURTS!!!  
I think I would have preferred the whip.

He stopped moving once he was fully inside. "Are you ok?" he asked me, leaning and kissing me as I was more than certainly grimacing because if the pain.  
What was he doing? Tenderness? Hey, nerd, I'm a prostitute! Huh, well, no, I'm not (for an instant I almost believed it, I'm starting to lose it) but you understand what I mean. And then I realized. Yes, I'm a prostitute. Since the moment I accepted the money, I was one...

"Move." I glared at him, refraining myself from biting his lips.  
He began to thrust, slowly. It was agonizingly painful. And he had prepared me. I didn't want to imagine what it had felt like for him when I... Shit. That was not the moment to feel guilty. Not when he had come back for more. Ok, not more of what I did, since he was the one topping, but still.  
He sped up the rhythm, pulling my tights further apart and upward as he knelt. It stretched me a bit more, and the pain faded slightly.

Then he leant again, sliding an arm under the small of my back while he began to pump my dick with his other hand.  
That's when he hit my prostate, and I totally, completely lost my mind. I knew I was moaning and panting but I didn't care, it felt too good. And he was too so he probably didn't care either.  
I came, and I felt him come too inside of me. Holy shit. That was... amazing?

He stayed there, leant on me, nuzzling the crook of my neck.  
Then he stood up, pulling out of me, and untied me. He quickly dressed, and glanced at the clock.  
"I exceeded the hour, so here's for you." he threw the envelop he just pulled from the backpocket of his jeans on the bed next to me, and left.

And suddenly, I really felt like a prostitute...

**Matt:  
**It took... absolutely everything I had... every inch of self-control that I had in my entire body, every fiber of anything that even _resembled_ determination, every _molecule_ of my being to force myself to walk away from him.

I wanted to hold him. I wanted to watch him. I wanted to _sleep_ with him, not just fuck him and run. He wasn't a drive-through. Okay, well, I guess, as a prostitute, he kind of was, but that was beside the point.

Because the face he made when he came took my breath away.

He was too busy orgasming to know that I was watching him, but, for a moment, I saw the most beautiful thing...

Someone like him, completely out of control. Someone like him, totally _real_. Not lying. Not smirking. Not faking. You couldn't fake that.

When I leaned in to kiss his neck, I couldn't do it. Instead I was stuck there, nuzzling him, but more, _inhaling_ him. And I couldn't get enough. I was sure I'd never be able to stop. He smelled as good as he tasted.

Actually, he smelled... _innocent_, if that's a smell. Okay, I know it's not a smell, but nevertheless, that's what he smelled like. Whore or virgin, which I understood he wasn't, Ten was incredible.

Was this gonna be like Moulin Rouge? Were we going to end up singing love song medleys together? Was he gonna die of something (an STD?!) just when I get him for real?

I felt terrible just tossing the money at him like he didn't matter, like I really _thought_ of him that way, but I knew that if I didn't get out of there I'd just take up more of his time. He probably had other customers scheduled for the day.

I tore myself away from the beautiful sight of Ten lying on his back, staring up at me, his expression unreadable, his eyes piercing, completely naked. I had to remind myself that he truly didn't care. That he was used to the drive-by fucking. He probably just needed the money for drugs or something. Although he was a little expensive to be a _crack_ whore, it was still possible. With a body like that- not to mention that energy, that power, that _beauty_- I imagined that he could charge as much as he wanted and _still_ have quite a lineup of clientele. From guys exactly like me. Hell, he probably rented himself out to _women_, too.

I made it all the way to the stairs, and then I stopped. I wanted to go back, but under what pretense? I left something? No, I had everything. Another lay? I didn't have any more cash on me and I wasn't up for another round, anyway. What I _wanted_ was to hold him and/or be held _by_ him, to lie in his arms and be surrounded by his scent and his deceptively strong arms, and by those beautiful eyes.

I shook my head and commanded my legs to move forward. They finally obeyed, ferrying me back to my apartment.

I must be one of those guys who cry every time after they have sex. I mean seriously. I wasn't in pain this time (well, any _new_ pain, I actually felt _in-fucking-credible)_, and I was certainly not raped. And I wasn't worried anymore about having to hurt someone I loved the same way _I _was hurt, because I had found out that it didn't _have_ to be unbearable. No, this time it wasn't because of the reasons from the first time.

This, I think, was... _possibly..._ because I didn't even know his name.


	8. Chapter 8

**Mello:  
**I stayed like this, sat on the border of my bed, for a long time. I couldn't move. The sound of the door closing felt like a slap in the face. So much for playing, that wasn't fun anymore...  
I don't know what had happened, but I was sure something happened. And I'm not talking about taking something up the ass. I couldn't find answers to my questions, but I was almost scared that I could.

First of all, what was with all the sweet and tender care? Not only didn't I deserve it because of what I did to him, but you don't care for prostitutes, right? It was double suspicious. Was this guy so utterly stuck in a virtual world that he didn't even know how to act with a whore?

Second, it felt good. I had to admit it, to myself at least. I've never known that. All I knew was violence, masochism, harsh moves and hurt. That was how it worked for me.  
And for the first time, I was on bottom, and it didn't make me feel inferior. Not even when being tied. This I really didn't understand, why? How?  
I had felt alive, and the downfall was awful.

So awful. Because, third, I felt dirty. I had sold myself. For some money thrown at my face, or almost. Like a garbage bag you use and put in the dumpster. _This_ made me feel inferior. Worse, I felt like shit.  
The great Mafia mob had sold his body like a vulgar little thrash. For money I didn't even need.

Oh yeah, so much for playing... backslapped by my own game.

I finally managed to peel myself off the bed, and as I stood, I felt something drip along my thighs. I rushed to the bathroom and took a shower. I needed to feel clean. I scrubbed and scrubbed again, until the water ran too cold to stay longer. I quickly dried myself and put sweatpants on, not bothering to wear a shirt.

As I was heading for the kitchen for some needed chocolate, my eyes fell on the envelop, still on the bed. I grabbed it and, picking the two others on the table near the door, I stuck them in an empty metal box on my desk, out of sight.

And I broke down. My palms fell on the wooden desk, supporting my weight, and I couldn't retain my sobs anymore.  
That wasn't like me, and it scared me.  
I felt tired, empty, useless.

I managed to pull myself together, and as I turned my head, I saw him, at his window, smoking. I grabbed a chocolate bar in my stash, and went back to my window, opening it. I sat on the sill, and he quickly pulled his goggles over his eyes. But not fast enough for me not to see that his eyes were red and swollen. And then I remembered that mines were more than certainly the same. Too late to care, anyway. Why did he cry?

I ate my chocolate in silence, while he smoked. When he finished his cigarette, he stayed there. So I did the same when my wrapper was empty.  
The silence was tensed, I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what to say. Talking about the weather? not really...

"Next time I'll let you top for 500 bucks." I said. How do you tell someone you want him again?  
"And what tells you there will be a next time?" he replied.  
I didn't see that coming. I looked at him, and averted my eyes from his. It was too much. More than I could take.

I slid from the windowsill, and as I was about to close the window, my door slammed opened and two guys aimed at me with their guns.

**Matt:**  
Alright. I pulled myself together and headed to my window for a smoke. No more crying. This was stupid. I couldn't get this worked up about a prostitute, for any reason. Even if he was my first _and_ I suspected that I had feelings for him, I couldn't let this get to me. I didn't even know him.

... of course he'd show up at the window. Of _course._

But he was my neighbor. I mean, it was gonna happen. Plus he wasn't technically _at_ his window, he was standing at a desk, hunched over it (shirtless- I couldn't help but drool a little). He looked like he was writing. At least, his shoulders were shaking...

... could he be crying? No, no way. Couldn't be. I _knew_ I had been gentle.

Ah, yes, see? He was putting the envelopes in a box.

Except, when he turned and faced the window, I could tell immediately that he _had_ been crying. And it had to have been hard, because his eyes were red and puffy. My heart broke. How someone's eyes could be simultaneously expressive and stone cold was beyond me, but he was there, living proof. The one I was currently obsessed with and who's name I didn't know.

He came over to the window and sat on the sill. I considered running away, but this was my apartment and I had nowhere to run _to_. Besides, we were going to have to learn to deal with this.

And... I wanted to look at him some more. At the smooth contours of his body, at his eyes, at the soul I could see behind them.

We were silent for a long time, me smoking, him eating chocolate. Why so much chocolate? Must be like a placeholder for some other addiction. I would have tasted it if he were a smoker.

He looked at me, and for a moment I saw desperation and longing in his eyes. "Next time I'll let you top for 500 bucks."

Wow. He must really need the money. I'd already paid out _more_ than enough for drugs, no matter what drug we're talking about here, so what could he need it _for? _ Was he one of those people who had to pay their way through law school by selling their bodies? Did that even happen outside of movies?

And, more importantly, did he think that I couldn't tell I'd made him cry? I couldn't subject him to that again, even for a quarter of the price. Even if he needed the money. I couldn't stop him from doing what he did, but _I_ didn't have to be the one to inflict it upon him...

...But the thought of even someone _else_ hurting him made fury boil my blood, the likes of which I had never felt. I wasn't one for strong emotion. Except, apparently, concerning Ten.

"And what tells you there will be a next time?" I said gently, trying to make him understand that I couldn't hurt him, I _wouldn't_.

He looked at me for a moment, eyes holding so much pain that they ripped me apart. Was someone he loved dying of some disease that was obnoxiously expensive to treat? Was Ten getting fucked by Matt really the only chance this loved one had of living? He looked away, and I couldn't help but get the feeling that the loved one I imagined was _the_ one he loved. A boyfriend or, I suppose, girlfriend, but nevertheless the one he loved. He drooped, looking like he was caving in on himself, collapsing inwardly.

He got off the window and I _almost_ called out to him to ask why he needed the money...

A flash of metal, and my body moved before I finished the thought.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Note: **Holy Jeevas! You had to wait after our horrible cliffhanger, and... here's another one bwahaha! We're sooooo cruel (and you like it, you know you do ;))  
_

* * *

**Mello:**  
"We finally found you, Mr Big Boss. Now you're gonna give us the location of your headquarters so we can get rid of your men along with you." one spat at me.  
"Like hell I will." I replied, although I was not in a position to be that confident, my Beretta was out of reach.  
"Well then, we won't have no other choice than to hurt you a little bit..." the second pulled out a knife, approaching me.

And suddenly, a tuft of red hair appeared in the doorframe. What the hell is that stupid and unconscious nerd doing here?!  
Well, at least, the few seconds the two men took to turn around at the noise of the steps behind them and look at him gave me time to grab my gun and shoot them.  
Unfortunately, one had the time to shoot at Cute nerd before dying.  
I saw my neighbour fall on the floor and for an instant I thought he had been shot dead.

I ran to him, but I breathed again when I saw he just got shot in the left thigh. I closed the door and helped him sit on the couch.  
"Are you fucking stupid?!" I yelled, "you could've died you fucking retarded!"  
"I just wanted to help, I didn't think before coming here..." he replied, laying on me the biggest puppy eyes I've ever seen. Fuck.  
"Yeah, obviously." I spat. I probably was more venomous than I wanted to, but the panic was still running through me. I had to admit his intervention saved my life.

I retrieved a first aid kit from the bathroom.  
"Pants, off." I demanded.  
"I'd better go to a hospital." he whined.  
"No fucking way." I shut him up.  
He struggled to remove his pants and I had to help him as he couldn't stand up. He looked at me in horror as I came back from the kitchen with a knife.  
"I have to remove the bullet." I began to dig into his flesh, and he hissed, his hands gripping the couch. Hopefully, it wasn't too difficult to remove, and it hadn't touched a bone or a nerve.  
I cleaned the wound as well as I could and stitched it (I always have stuff like that ready, just in case, I had to stitch myself more times than I can count).

As I was sticking some band aid on the wound, crouched between his legs in front of the couch, I noticed I had a great view on his crotch. I quickly cleaned the blood from my hands with some disinfecting wipe and pushed the aid kit away, not moving from my position.  
I traced my palm on his balls through the fabric, and he gasped. I could feel him grow hard, and I couldn't resist.  
I knelt, placing myself in a more comfortable position, and slowly trailed kisses on the inside of his right thigh. Then I pulled on the hem of his boxers, freeing his erection, that I took in my mouth eagerly.  
He moaned, his hands gripping and ungripping the border of the couch. I deepthroated him, and I felt his hands slide in my hair. I sped the movement of my head and hand, and shit, the little moans he was doing just made me lose it. He was not long to come. I swallowed everything, something I never did usually. I just felt like it.

He looked at me as I sat beside him on the couch, he looked lost.  
"I don't have the money to pay you for that, you'll have to give me some time to go to my bank and..." he began.  
"I never said you had to pay." I cut him, "I guess I owe you my life, even if it was the stupidest thing to do to run here." I smiled, "so, this was because endorphins ease the pain," I left kisses from his abdomen to his ear, "and this is to thank you," and I kissed him, in the more gentle manner I could, deepening the kiss while sliding my hand behind his head. That was crazy, I couldn't stop kissing him, and only did because I needed air.  
He looked even more puzzled.

"Can you walk?" I asked.  
He stood up, but fell miserably on the couch.  
"Oookaaay..." I added, "I'll have to carry you then."  
Puppy eyes again.  
"I can't keep you here, I have to... clean." I gestured to the bodies still lying on the ground.

**Matt:**  
Alright. So I think it was a little unnecessary for them to shoot me. I mean, I was clearly unarmed, clearly a nerd, and clearly incapable of doing anything to actually interfere.

And then they were just... dead. I watched the light go out of the eyes of the man who shot me in the leg and my whole body started shaking. I had just seen a man die for my first time in _real_ _life_, and I didn't even feel bad. Because he had had a gun too, and it had been pointed at Ten, and _that_ was unacceptable.

_'No one hurts him,_' I thought as my legs buckled underneath me and I collapsed. I hit my head on the floor, hard. _'No one_.'

I blacked out for a few seconds. Next thing I knew, he was leaning over me, helping me up. Then I was on the couch.

"Are you fucking stupid?!" he started screaming at me. "You could've died you fucking retarded!"

"I just wanted to help, I didn't think before coming here..." Or, more accurately, I didn't think at _all_ and I just _appeared_ here. In record time, might I add. I think I took those stairs three or four at a time.

"Yeah, obviously."

Hey now, that wasn't fair. I wasn't stupid and I'd played tactic video games- my distraction had probably saved his life.

He slipped away and retrieved a First Aid kit.

"Pants, off," he ordered.

"I'd better go to a hospital."

"No fucking way."

What? Why?!? Nevertheless, when a guy like Ten tells you to take off your pants, whatever the reason, you obey.

He disappeared again for a moment, and when he returned he had a knife. I felt my eyes go wide. This was it. He was gonna cut off my leg and I'd bleed to death.

"I have to remove the bullet."

No way! This is the modern era! We have anesthesia for things like this! Drug me up and knock me out! Why weren't we going to the hospital?! This was fuckin LA, they dealt with gunshot wounds _all the time_. They probably wouldn't even _ask._

Without warning he jabbed the knife into me. My brain exploded with pain as my nerves shrieked their protest and I bit my lip to keep from screaming, but other than that, the next few minutes were a blur.

I came back into reality about halfway through a blowjob. What the _fuck_?! I have no idea what he did, but he was good at it. Much, much too good at it. I hoped that I didn't tear his hair out, but it was a distinct possibility. I wished I had been more aware of the last ten minutes- I would have really liked to have known how this random oral sex had come about.

He swallowed, which wasn't something I would have expected from a prostitute.

He sat up next to me and I could only stare at him. "I don't have the money to pay you for that, you'll have to give me some time to go to my bank and..."

"I never said you had to pay," he interrupted me. "I guess I owe you my life, even if it was the stupidest thing to do to run here." He smiled and, where my heart had been racing before, now it stopped. "So," he continued as if he didn't know that my brain had just burst into flame, "this was because endorphins ease the pain."

Then he kissed me everywhere, anywhere he hadn't kissed in the last two nights, and in the most intimate manner. Before, it had definitely been about sex. This time, though... I don't know. These kisses weren't _leading_ anywhere.

"And this," he whispered, "is to thank you." He kissed me tenderly on the lips, slipping his hand into my hair and holding me gently to him. We stayed that way for a long time, deepening it. I realized that this was my first _real_ kiss.

When he pulled away I could only blink at him.

"Can you walk?"

I tried to stand but it didn't happen.

"Oookaaay... I'll have to carry you then."

I didn't want to leave.

"I can't keep you here," he said, as if he were replying to what I hadn't said aloud. "I have to... clean." He indicated the corpses with a sweep of a hand.

I looked at him long and hard, staring into those incredible eyes. "You're not a prostitute, are you," I said finally. It wasn't a question.

"Well, technically..."

"You weren't before I mistook you for one and tried to hire you."

He wouldn't look at me. "Well... yeah," he mumbled.

"Then what _are_ you?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Mello:**  
"Then what _are_ you?" he asked.  
"If you knew, I'd have to kill you." I replied, throwing his pants at him. He slid them up to his knees, and I had to help him finish the job.  
Then I lifted him from the floor and crossed the space between his apartment and mine. I laid him there, on his couch, and left.

I called Jake. He arrived quickly, and we got rid of the corpses. I had my men pay a little visit to the gang that had sent the two men once I managed to get rid of the blood staining the tiles of my apartment. I couldn't risk anyone else coming to threaten me once more. It was already not so pleasant that they managed to find me, but I didn't want the information to spread. A little explosion later, and I was safe.

Once my door had been repaired, I grabbed my keys and headed out. I needed some fresh air, things were spinning in my head and I didn't even know what I should try to think about first.  
Ok, the gang had been taken care of, and there was no reason to move from my apartment, no one among my enemies was alive to tell where I lived anymore. I didn't especially like to move, but right now, this distaste wasn't the reason why I was relieved that there was no risk to stay here anymore. And that was bothering me almost as much as what I did next.

I parked my motorbike, after a half hour ride, along a small store, as I was heading back to my block. I picked some chocolate, vodka and once I stood in front of the frozen pizzas, I decided for a double one, and once at the cashier, I added two packs of cigarettes and some beers. And painkillers.  
A few minutes later, and I was knocking at his door.

"Come in, it's still open." he shouted, obviously knowing it was me.  
I turned the knob and entered. He was still sat on his couch, apparently he didn't move from where I had left him.

I was greeted by the sight of several laptops disseminated around the room, along with many gaming consoles and games boxes. Why did this guy need so many computers?

"I thought you would have some difficulties to stand so... well.." I lifted the plastic bag I was holding a bit.  
His face lit up and a big smile appeared on his lips. _A little more and he would be wagging his tail_, I told myself.  
"Are you hungry?" I asked. He nodded. "Do you have an oven or a microwave?"  
"In the kitchen. That's where that kind of stuff usually is, you know." he chuckled.  
I scowled at him, but I couldn't help but smile at his genuine smirk. There's something about that guy that melts me. Not good. At all.  
Why? I hurt him, bad, he thought I was a prostitute, then knows I'm not, he gets shot, and sees me kill two guys, and he takes it all without judgement, without fear, without a single flinch.

We drank some beers while the pizza was in the oven.  
"Are you still in pain?" I questioned him.  
"Yeah..." he looked at me, and blushed.  
I searched in the bag and handed him the pills. He seemed disappointed.  
"I'm not a recommended medic so don't get addicted." I winked at him. He blushed even deeper, but his smile faded.

We ate, the only sound being the music playing from one of the laptops.  
Once he lit his cigarette, after we finished the pizza, he suddenly asked me: "Why did you accept to be hired if you're not a prostitute?"  
I was not prepared to this question, although I should've known he would ask at a moment or another, but I'd been so focused on my own issues that I forgot that he was probably wondering about many things too. I went for sincerity, since I didn't have any excuse for that.  
"A cute guy offers me money to fuck him, why would I refuse?" I stated.  
Among all the possible answers he could have given to my statement, like I am a bastard, a whore, or a liar, he gave me the lamest (ok, and cutest) reply possible: "You think I'm cute?"  
I almost facepalmed. God, he's really retarded. Cutely retarded.

"What do you do with all these computers? That's freaky how many you have." I said, changing the topic.  
"Hacking." he replied, tossing his cigarette in the nearest ashtray.  
He's a hacker? Wow. I wouldn't have expected that from this nerd. But that explained the money.  
"That would be fair if you told me about you too, you know..." he looked at me with the puppy eyes. Shit. If only he could stop doing that. I was discovering I have difficulties to say no to that look.  
"I guess you're not the kind to run around screaming murder, with the kind of job you do... but if you trick me..." I began.  
"Hey!" he cut me, "I run to save you, I let you rummage with a knife in my flesh, I even let you rape me, and you still think I could do anything against you?"  
I... raped him? That's how he felt?  
"I'm sorry..." I mumbled, suddenly losing it all again. I grab his cheeks between my palms and kiss him feverishly.

Shit. I think I cared.

I had felt dirty because I had sold myself. But it was nothing compared to understanding I had hurt him and he had accepted it. I was even dirtier than I thought.  
He wasn't stupid, he wasn't a nerd, he wasn't unconscious. He was someone who didn't have an ounce of malice or thought about revenge. He was of the sincere ones, the pure ones. He was as clean as I was dirty.

I broke the kiss. It's only then that I noticed that tears were falling from my eyes. I looked down. Fuck. I must have looked like a sissy.  
I withdrew from him, and, still looking down, I replied to his question.  
"I run the Mafia."

**Matt:**  
"Oh," I replied simply. "Are you Italian?"

For some reason, that made him laugh out loud and burst into tears again, all at once. He shook his head in amazement. "You're really something, you know that?"

I grinned. "So are you," I reminded him. "But I'm sure you already know that. I mean... _look _at you."

"Hot?" he laughed, flipping his hair in the way that had started this whole mess. A way that _still_ gave me issues. "So I've been told," he purred.

"Hot, yes, but the rest of you too."

He cocked his head, and the way his golden hair fell around him nearly made me forget all my additional reasons. "What?"

"How could you not know?" I asked, amazed. "You're... _you_. You're completely incredible. You exhaust me just _sitting_ there and, I mean, the fact that you're in my house... right here with me... it's just amazing."

"You don't know me," he reminded me.

I shrugged. "I know. But have you ever seen your eyes?"

He gave me an _'you're an idiot, that's impossible'_ look.

"In the mirror, asshole," I said mildly. "You have the most expressive eyes I've ever seen. And, so far, everything I've seen in them, even the violence and everything, I've lo- liked," I corrected myself quickly. "Liked more than anyone I've ever met, actually."

"So you like me," he repeated.

"Yeah I-"

Alarms started going off on all of my computers, and I forced myself to my feet, hobbling over to the ones that I hadn't been able to bring over to me. It hurt like a motherfucker, but something was seriously wrong and I had to get over there. The computers were interfaced- if something got into one, it got into all of them. Of course I had some blocks between them, but the codes to get into _any_ of them from the outside were so hard that even _I_ would have had trouble hacking them if they were someone else's, so inter-network blocking shouldn't have been even necessary...

Ten was right behind me, asking me what was going on, but I barely heard him.

Because my digital world was shutting down around me as I watched.

I threw myself into a chair and started typing like a madman. I had to do about twelve things in about five seconds, and it was impossible, even with my skill. But I had to at least try. Maybe I could do some damage control. Probably not.

6.2 seconds later, it was all over.

It was all gone, and it wasn't something I could get back. Information deleted, illegal contacts lost, connections disengaged, backup files hacked and destroyed, _backup_ backups hacked and destroyed...

Well, my fanfiction dot net account was probably still going strong, seeing as it was on _their_ servers, but that was about it.

I leaned back in my seat and stared at the incredibly blank system in front of me, trying to wrap my mind around it. Who could have _possibly_ gotten into this? Who out there was at my skill level? Why me? I didn't have anything to take. I only stole as much as I needed at a time to avoid raising suspicion, so I now had literally three dollars. I might have some change in my couch. And hacking was my only marketable skill- if I didn't get these computers up again, I didn't have a shot. It would probably be a few thousand to fix all of this. My mind started working on how I could convince the bank to give me loans to reestablish my illegal hacking business. It wasn't looking good. Okay, so then I'd have to find some minimum-wage job that would hire people with a high school diploma and no job experience.

I tipped my head back, dropping my goggles to my neck so I could rub my eyes.

_"Fuck,"_ I cursed under my breath.

On a brighter note, I could see Ten from here. I was happy to know that he looked just as good upside-down as he did rightside-up. I tried and failed to smile at him. "Well, this isn't good," I sighed.

"What just happened?" he asked, completely bewildered. Oh, right, I had forgotten. To a normal person that merely looked confusing, not like I had just been condemned to at least ten years working at a fast-food restaurant. Hi, I'm Matt; may I take your order? Would you like fries with that?

"My hacking career just got hacked into and thoroughly deleted," I informed him. "I am now completely broke, unemployed, and in about three weeks I will be homeless."

Fun stuff.


	11. Chapter 11

**Mello:**  
What do you say in that kind of situation? Sorry? You'll find something else? Things will get better?  
"That sucks..." was all I could say.  
"Yeah..." he replied, sighing.

He stayed sat at his desk, smoking a cigarette, while I was standing behind him, helpless.  
"What are you going to do?" I asked him.  
"Search for a job, there's nothing else I can do... although I don't know who will hire someone like me who doesn't have any skills outside of gaming and computing areas. And if they ask for references, I don't think mines are welcome."  
"I see..." What could I tell him? "Can I do something?" That wouldn't hurt to ask, even if there was probably nothing I could do for him.

He turned on his chair to face me and stood up.  
"You will probably refuse but... can you just hug me?" he gazed at me but averted his eyes shyly.  
Hug him? How was it supposed to help the situation?  
I faced him, quite uneasy (yeah, on top of it all, I had lost my self confidence, great...). Seeing I didn't react, he began to walk painfully to the couch.

As he walked past me, I couldn't help but snake my arms around his shoulders and drag him into my arms. I held him, tight. I felt his arms encircle my waist, and his forehead leant on my shoulder. Just like when I kissed him, a little earlier, I couldn't let go. I think I liked him too. Fuck.  
My hand slid in his hair on its own accord, stroking the copper locks softly. He snuggled against me. Truth is, I didn't mind.

What was I doing?! I suddenly released him.  
"Gotta go." and I left.

I came back to my apartment. I don't know how long I stayed with my back against the closed door once I was inside, but it was pitch dark when I moved. I didn't know what I was doing, what I was feeling, what I wanted. Except that all this was wrong and that I shouldn't be wasting my time like I was. There would be nothing good coming out of this, why should I care? It's not like things could be normal and easy. I was who I was, and I shouldn't expect anything from life since I already had everything: power, money, respect. But he said I was... no, I shouldn't think about what he said. Who is he anyway, to know who I am or not? I was only fooling myself, I was lonely and it probably was my mind's will to ease the loneliness, it would be over soon. A little weakness I would get rid of soon. Nothing more.

I crossed my apartment, grabbed a bag, shoved a few clothes and chocolate in, and left for my headquarters. I would stay there a few days, it would be easier since I wouldn't have my neighbour under my nose constantly.

I worked my ass off during 48 hours non stop, not letting time to my brain to think or wander. But sleep finally took me over, and I dozed off during a few hours. When I woke up, it was the evening of my third day at the HQ. I rummaged through my bag, but I had eaten all my stash of chocolate. Shit. I took a quick shower to relieve the ache of my muscles, I've stayed hunched over a laptop way too long, trying to sort various files out.

I finally decided to go back home, I just used my last change of clothes, and I would stop at the little store near my block for some chocolate.

Just as I slowed down in front of the store, I realised it was closed. I didn't realise it was that late. Fuck, I needed chocolate and I wasn't sure I had some left in my apartment. I wandered a bit around the block and finally found a MacDonalds open. They should have chocolate items, right? Thanks to whoever thought someone would want to eat a fucking burger at ten for midnight, I would have something chocolaty to be able to wait until tomorrow morning.

I approached the cashier to order anything with chocolate, and as I was eyeing the muffins, the employee greeted me.  
"Hey!"  
_Is that how they treat customers?_, I asked myself before lifting my gaze and facing a certain redhead.  
"Oh... so you found a job." I stated the obvious.  
"Well yeah, didn't have much choice..." he replied.  
"Doesn't seem really entertaining, right?" I was sad for him, working here wasn't exactly fun.  
"At least that pays the bills." he tried to smile, "I didn't see you for days, I thought that you... I..."  
"Much work." I was avoiding him, yeah, but suddenly, I didn't want it to look like this. "Isn't it too hard to stand with your injured leg?"  
"No, it's ok." he lied. I could easily see that he couldn't walk properly as he was serving me.  
I paid for my muffins. "What's your shift?" I asked.  
"4pm-1am." he informed me.  
"Good luck." I replied genuinely, smiling, before I left.

That's only when I was telling myself, as I was eating my muffins, sat on my couch, that it was a pain in the ass to watch my various markets' fluctuations constantly that it hit me. I had a hand on many companies, commercial complexes and buildings, and it wouldn't take me much contacts to... yeah, I would do that.  
I made several calls, and went to bed.

The next day, I knew I probably would wake up my neighbour by showing up at his door so early considering his shift ended at 1am but I needed him at 10am and it was already 9:30.

**Matt:**  
"That sucks..." he said weakly.

"Yeah." I sighed again, rubbing my eyes. This was so bad. So bad.

I would probably have to stop smoking unless I wanted to get cigarettes illegally. That was gonna be Hell.

"What are you going to do?"

"Search for a job, there's nothing else I can do... although I don't know who will hire someone like me who doesn't have any skills outside of gaming and computing areas. And if they ask for references, I don't think mines are welcome."

"I see..."

When he asked me what he could do, only one thing popped into my mind.

"You will probably refuse but... can you just hug me?"

Stupid. Asking a mob boss for a hug. It wasn't going to happen, and even if it _did_ it wouldn't be a good hug, probably. He'd probably squeeze my guts out or do the awkward manly back-pound thing.

Just as I thought. Well, it was probably better that he didn't. Didn't need to rip my stitches.

I started to limp over to my couch, longing for its wonderful threadbare relative softness, when I felt myself snatched up and pulled into him. It hurt to be yanked around on my leg but I didn't complain, because he was holding me and that _was_ what I had wanted, after all.

I reached around his waist and held him, too, and he squeezed me a little closer. I had been wrong: he gave the most incredible hugs I'd ever seen. I could feel his energy and strength flowing into me, erasing the ache in my leg more effectively than even the blowjob had. My earlobe was folded against him so I readjusted my head, taking the opportunity to nuzzle in closer.

I felt his fingers slip into my hair and stroke me.

I was just about to sigh in content when he practically pushed me off of him, shouting, "Gotta go!" and ran out my door.

What the fuck? What the hell had just happened? Who walks out in the middle of a hug? We'd already _slept_ together- twice! And that's not counting the blowjob! What was so awkward about a hug that he had to abandon ship, when anal sex was a-okay?! And why was my first existing crush such a jerk?

I hobbled to the window just in time to see him leaving his apartment building with only a little bag, hop on his motorbike, and drive away.

Why did I get the feeling that he was never coming back?

I watched for a long time, but he never returned.

The next morning, I drove around, applying at any place I could. I was surprised when I got a job on the first day of searching. In this economy?

Okay, so it was McDonalds and it was minimum wage. But still. I would get to eat tonight, and that was a good thing. When they heard I had skills with technology, they put me on the cash register. I'm... not entirely sure what that has to do with technology skills... but that's okay. Apparently no one else there could figure it out.

So I decided to be positive. I smiled at customers and did what my boss told me to do. I took the night shift that no one else wanted and, might I say, I rocked that place. People left smiling. Especially girls. Too bad I'm a flaming homosexual because seriously like four girls asked me out by my second day there.

I could only stare as Ten walked right in the door. Ten ate at McDonalds? I honestly wouldn't have imagined that.

"Hey!" I said, a little too enthusiastically.

He looked up at me like I was a crazy person, and then he recognized me. "Oh... so you found a job."

That's what I get? Not a 'hello,' not a, 'Hey, yeah I kind of ran out on you there, it was because -insert valid reason here-?'

"Well yeah, didn't have much choice." Fuckwad.

"Doesn't seem really entertaining, right?"

_I'll have you know I'm quite enjoying it!_ I shouted at him in my head. _Dickhead_, I mentally added for good measure. But what I said aloud was, "At least that pays the bills. I didn't see you for days, I thought that you... I...."

"Much work."

Sure. Right. Whatever.

"Isn't it too hard to stand with your injured leg?"

Well, I didn't want to _starve_ to death. That would hurt a lot more than my leg. "No, it's ok," I told him as I retrieved the muffins I saw him eying, assuming that it's what he wanted.

Besides, I had done it for a good reason. Even if he's the kind of guy that disappears without a trace, even if I'm hurt and pissed off, even if he's pretending that he didn't do anything wrong, and even if I never saw him again after this burger-related run-in, I didn't regret it.

He needs to exist. With me or without me.

"What's your shift?" he asked, handing me money as I handed him a bag of muffins.

I didn't want to answer, but my mouth moved before I could stop it. "4pm-1am."

"Good luck." He smiled at me, and I remembered why I wasn't nearly as mad at him as I should have been. Don't get me wrong. I _was_ ticked off. But... he's Ten.

That's just the way it is.

He left and the rest of my normally quite interesting shift (strange people come in late at night. Example: Mafia boss known only as Ten) crawled by like my old English classes growing up. I left the moment I was allowed to, and fell asleep the moment my face met my pillow.

What felt like maybe six seconds later, I woke up to someone kissing me. What the Hell? Had one of the McDonalds girls followed me home?!

But no. It tasted like Ten.

I didn't open my eyes because I knew it _wasn't_ him and I wanted to prolong the illusion. I'd be disgusted enough when I woke up for real- I wanted to delay it as long as possible.

The unidentified Ten-like person stopped kissing me and nudged me.

I didn't respond.

"Get the fuck out of bed!"

It was Ten.

I opened my eyes warily and looked at him, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "That was a nice way to wake up," I murmured.

He didn't say anything about that. Instead, he tossed clothes at me. "Get dressed."

Apparently I had a line inside me that could be crossed. I didn't know that before I met Ten. As was also now becoming apparent, I was nowhere near complete without him, and he got to me like no one else.

In short, I exploded at him.

"You know what?! No!" I shouted.

He looked completely taken aback.

"I've had it! I can't just come at your beck and call! You leave me out of nowhere, and fine. Yeah. That happens, and it's not like we're together so I dealt with it. And _during_ those days, you know what I thought? I thought you were dead or you really _were_ a prostitute and had taken off because I didn't have any more money or you'd moved or had just _randomly_ decided you hated me for no apparent reason! These are the things I spent however many days that _was_ thinking about! Do you have any idea how annoying that was!? And _then _I see you again, any my heart races, and you don't even say hello you just point out the obvious for a while and then _leave again_ without explaining _anything_!"

I glared at him, trying to look even angrier than I felt, trying to imitate the anger I saw in his eyes when he shot the men in his house that day.

My anger was looked like a leaf in a forest compared to the anger I saw in _his_ eyes, now.

"Get up," he said, deadly calm. He enunciated every word, speaking at half speed. I saw that his hands were fists at his sides. "Put clothes on. Follow me to my motorbike. Do it now, in that order, silently, and don't touch me, or I will _lose_ it and I will shoot you where you stand."

I got up, I put clothes on, and I followed him to his motorbike. I was silent, and I made sure not to touch him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Mello:**  
I knocked at Cute Nerd's door, but he didn't reply. I turned the knob, it was open. God, he's really unaware of danger (maybe that's why he likes me...).  
I assumed he was sleeping so I walked directly to one of the doors. Bathroom. The second one was what I was looking for: bedroom.

He was sleeping soundly, and for a moment, I stared. My opinion went from cute to beautiful. I smiled to myself at the thought of Sleeping Beauty. I bent over him while sitting on the border of his bed, and deposited a kiss on his lips. His tempting lips. I've been doing weird things lately so one more wouldn't hurt. And I was used to take what I wanted so... I kissed him, gently, thinking it would wake him up.  
I finally nudged him since it didn't seem to work, and I ended up yelling him to get up as my patience ended. God, this guy's a pain in the ass.

As I threw his clothes at him, he suddenly exploded.  
I listened to his long rant, sucking his anger in, mine starting to boil and threatening to blow him off. I thought he had accepted me like I was, but truth is, he didn't know me. I wasn't the kind to explain, or to tell about my schedule, and if I looked at the situation, we were only strangers. I knew he liked me, and it became obvious at that moment that it was in a romantic way. And I also knew I was feeling something too, although I was trying to fight it because it was wrong and things couldn't be this way. But we were strangers nonetheless. I didn't owe him anything related to what he was accusing me of right now, as well as I didn't have to do what I did for him that required his presence this morning. Why did I have to fall for a guy that obviously couldn't cope with the way I am?

I swallowed my anger and ordered him to get ready. I warned him not to touch me. If he did, I would probably break down. Or kill him because of the hurt I felt. I would show him what I had to, and all this would be over, and I'd forget him.

He managed not to fall during the ride to the center, as he was trying not to touch me and then couldn't hold my waist. We both hopped off my motorbike, and he followed me, still silent.

I stopped in front of a store, and quickly typed the code of the alarm. The iron curtain lifted up slowly. Once we could access the front door, I handed him the bunch of keys I stirred from my leather jacket.  
He looked at me puzzled. "Are you afraid the lock is bombed and you need a tester?"  
"I thought that, as the new owner of this store, you'd like to open your door yourself." I looked at the floor, uneasy. That had been a bad idea, now I knew it. He would take me for a freak and would throw the keys at my face.

**Matt:  
**I have to admit, I almost threw the keys in his face.

He bought me a _store_?! Don't most people just get each other chocolate or flowers or something? Not that I would know what people do in real life. And not that I would expect a chocolate addict to give me chocolate. But the point stood!

I still might just be a tester, though. You never know. This is the _Mafia_, after all.

Which made me wonder how exactly he had gotten his hands on this establishment. I decided not to think about it.

Giving him a glare and figuring that if I was going to blow up into a million pieces I might as well get it over with, I stuck the key in the lock, braced myself, and turned it.

I flinched when it clicked cheerfully, but it opened sans explosion. That had gone well.

All my resentment for the Mafia man/ whore left me in a rush when I saw what the store contained.

Technology. All the greatest technology I could imagine. The newest stuff, and even a corner for video games and game systems. Again, all completely new. Fresh off the market. Impossible to get legally. I was probably going to be shot (again) for having a store like this. And you know what? I would die happy, surrounded by the only thing in the world that actually makes some kind of _sense_ to me.

I walked in, staring in wonder at my surroundings, gaping when I saw a whole row of the latest hacking materials. This was stuff I could only drool over, normally. This was stuff that I was _never_ going to own, but if Ten was serious about giving me this store, then there was a distinct possibility that I'd get to _use_ it. Whoever had hacked me would never be getting near any of my stuff ever again.

I could only imagine the security systems in place on this building. The thought made me salivate. Yes, I was going to have to try hacking the security of my own shop. Shut up. I'm a geek. It's what I do.

Anyway.

I turned to Ten, pretty sure that my eyes were glittering anime-style. If I had ears they'd be tucked and I'd be wagging my tail.

"Are you serious?" I asked him. "Are you seriously giving this to me?"

He nodded, still staring at the floor.

I blushed, I think. "Is that no-touch rule still in play?"

**Mello:**  
Oh, his eyes as I lifted my gaze from the floor. Bright eyes... beautiful bright deep blue eyes focused on me with gratitude, but not only that. Something else I couldn't place. His cheeks were tainted a light pink, and he was gorgeous. Cute Nerd was the most beautiful person I've ever seen, when he is happy.  
And that made me happy too. And sappy, but that's another story I'd have to deal with later.

"I guess not..." I replied weakly. I didn't even have the time to add anything that I was attacked by a crazy redhead clutching to my neck and kissing me all over the face. I quickly adjusted my balance before we both fell, and I hugged him back.  
And it felt good.

It felt good doing something for someone else.  
It felt good making that person happy.  
It felt good knowing I was _able_ to make someone happy.

And that's how I knew why I'd been crying lately, when I didn't allow myself to cry since I was 6 years old. I was used to being alone, but I _didn't want to_. I had never wanted to. But I was so scared of finally having someone in my life and lose this person, that I always did my best (or should I say worst) to push people away.  
Having a dangerous life and all was just a bad excuse. Many of my men were married, had children, happy families, and it was not more dangerous to be in the Mafia than to live on this earth. How many people just get hit by a car while crossing the street, shot in a store robbery, murdered for a few cash while walking home at night?  
And it was also obvious to me that it was pure nonsense to miss so much happiness just because I may lose it... Would I live all my life craving for something I didn't allow myself to have, or fill that craving once and for all and be fucking happy?

Yeah, Mr Big Mafia Boss is a chicken inside (but I can still shoot you if you make fun of me, just a little reminder...)

"I assume you like it?" I asked, laughing.  
"Hell yeah!" he squealed, still hanging at my neck.  
"I had someone bring everything in the night, you can take for yourself all that's on the right, I suppose it's not the kind of material you're supposed to sell but I thought you'd like to have it. The legal stuff in on the left and you have more in the reserve. You can order more to fill your shelves, it's up to you since you're the manager and owner of the place. I don't know anything about this stuff but the guy I hired for that assured me it was the best stuff on the market. And you have a bit of cash to start your affair in the cashier."  
"You mean all this is just for me?" he gesture at the boxes on the right, slowly walking toward them, his fingers barely touching the material, almost like he was afraid that they would disappear.  
"Yeah, everything here is yours... absolutely everything." I looked at him, and I think he got the message.

**Matt:  
**I'm pretty sure there was a double meaning hidden in there somewhere.

Okay, it might not have been so hidden, because he looked at me and gave me the slightest but most genuine smile that I'd ever seen.

"Everything?" I asked shyly, walking back to him from where I had been caressing the boxes. "Everything that is in this room?"

"Yeah," he said, and stared me right in the eyes. His beautiful, cold blue gaze went softer and softer as I walked closer and closer, and that was how I knew he felt _exactly_ the same way about me as I did about him.

So I kissed him.

I took his face gently and brought my lips to his. He immediately wrapped his arms around me and participated, quickly asserting himself and dominating the kiss. I didn't mind. It wasn't hard to submit to someone like Ten, and I suspected that he could be bribed with chocolate if he ever got too rough again. Because there _would_ be an 'again,' and now I knew it.

The kiss broke only when he broke it: I certainly wasn't going to stop. Ever, if I had any say in it. When it ended, I said in the sexiest voice I could manage, breathing in his ear, "So... does any of this stuff still belong to me if I take it outside of this room?"

He actually stuttered, which made my heart do a little choking stutter of its own in response. "Y-yeah."

"Really? What?" I tried to purr. _Zelda_ I'm so _awkward_. Why am I so awkward?

A very amusing combination of that look he had given me when I had walked up to him (...love?), annoyance, and sexiness crossed his face. "If you don't stop talking like that I'm gonna take you here on the floor. Or over that box." He gestured to one that looked particularly sturdy.

I wasn't opposed to this idea. I mean, at all opposed. In any way, shape, or form. No opposed. Like... please take me now.

I might have looked a little too eager, because he rolled his eyes. "Come on."


	13. Chapter 13

**Mello:**  
Cute nerd was annoyingly cute, questioning me like a four years old kid.  
"Come on." I rolled my eyes, "Don't push your luck, you're not gonna make me say it." I held him closer, and, pushing a few strands of hair behind his ear, I brought my lips to it and whispered: "But I'm gonna show you instead, coz I'm not really at ease with words."  
I felt him shiver, and he did that thing again: he giggled. Like a girl. I. Love. It.  
I hugged him, nuzzling his neck. I had felt predatory a few seconds ago, now I felt... melty. Strangely, I just wanted to stay like this, stroking his back with one hand, and sliding my other hand in his soft hair, breathing in his scent.  
He snuggled into me, and for an instant, I felt... protective.

So many feelings were rushing to the surface, all at once. It made me dizzy, but in a good way.  
"I feel good with you..." he murmured, lifting his head from my shoulder and giving me that wonderful smile of his.  
Oh shit, yeah, I know, I'm sounding totally sappy right now. Fuck. You.

But my melty side quickly disappeared. You can't expect too much sweetness from someone like me...

I withdrew from him, only a few seconds, to reach for the button of the electric curtain. I didn't want people from the outside to see what we were about to do.  
While the iron protection went down the store façade, I slowly walked back to where he was standing.  
And suddenly, I saw something in his eyes that stopped me cold. Fear.

"No... don't be scared of me... please..." I kissed him softly. Another rush of feelings surfaced, but nothing good this time. I was sad because I didn't want to see that in his eyes, I felt guilty because I could blame only myself for what I was seeing in his eyes, and, more than that, I wanted him to forgive me.

I could feel how tensed he was in my arms. I could understand: trapped with the iron curtain closed, in a store where we were alone, with someone that had raped him. Even if he liked me, everything was against me, and he was probably thinking I would do it again.

I had wanted him to take me, but now I knew I would have to be on top, and prove him I _could_ be on top and still be gentle. I was afraid. I had never been gentle. I would also prove it to myself.

I undressed him, carefully. I think that I wanted so much to be gentle that I may have looked like I was manipulating a crystal glass.  
Then I caressed him, softly. But the gentler I was, the more he tensed.  
"Do you want me to stop?" I asked him, because I couldn't go on with the way things were right now. He was not the same guy that had come to me the first time, scared, but willing to experiment the harsh treatment all the same.  
This time, he didn't fear the pain but something else.

"I... don't know..." he replied weakly, "I want you, but it's... awful, because if you do to me what you did the first time, there's so much more I have to lose now..."  
He looked at me with this expression I had already seen. The same I saw in my bathroom's mirror, after he had told me about my eyes, when I wanted to know what he meant. So I understood.  
I understood that the bond we had created was true, strong and something we both wanted to hold on to. But he was as scared to lose me than I was to lose him. The difference was that he had always been himself, no lies, no façade. I couldn't say the same for me. He had had a peek of the real me, but the mask I wore most of the time was taking over me on a regular basis (ok, 99.99% of the time...) and I wasn't even sure myself that I could get rid of it, at least for him. I had to keep it for my job, I couldn't be gentle with my men.

But since this shield of violence, danger and lies I had built all over me was the common factor for his fear and mine, I had to try... no... I had to succeed in being myself around him. Otherwise, he would always expect me to hurt him, and I would always live with the risk that he runs away from me.

It's only when his fingertips erased the tears from my eyes that I realised I was crying.  
"I'm as scared as you, because I don't know how to do not to hurt you. Help me..." I whispered.  
"Then don't fuck me, but make love to me... I trust you." he replied.

**Matt:**  
"I feel good with you," I said quietly, looking up at him from where I was in his arms. I smiled, and I noticed that he automatically smiled back. Just a bit.

He pulled away from me and I immediately felt like I was in nicotine withdrawal. Dammit, why does Ten have to be like a drug? Hm, which drug, though? Meth, probably. Speeds me up. I immediately craved him again, and I crushed the urge to follow him like a puppy. I'd already laughed again (stupid, stupid gay laugh) and I didn't want to overwhelm him with all my annoying traits all at once.

He closed the cage over the door of the shop.

I was locked in with him.

Fear immediately coursed through me. Post traumatic stress, respondent learning, whatever you want to call it- I was immediately scared shitless. I tried not to let it show, but I knew I was shaking. I inadvertently took a few steps back. My mind was blank; worst timing ever. I was about to get raped- _again_- and this time...

It's just worse to get raped by someone you... _love_ than it is by some hot dude you mistake for a prostitute.

Okay, so I realized I didn't know him. But it didn't matter. How I felt was how I felt, and how I felt was either love or something pretty damn close to it. But I couldn't stop my body's natural reaction to him- a strange, thrilling, and terrifying mix of fear and attraction.

When he saw that I was afraid, his eyes broke my heart. Such expressive eyes. I've said it before and I'll happily say it again.

"No... don't be scared of me... please..." he all but begged. Did he know he was begging? But what a thing for a Mafia boss to say! He kissed me tenderly. Okay, I'll admit it. That was gentle, but I was far from convinced that he could fuck me without making me bleed.

He took off my clothes carefully, so precisely that often it barely brushed my skin. As if he had something to prove, which he did. He was treating me like a porcelain doll- which was nice, but I _wasn't_ porcelain, and I think he was misunderstanding the main reason I was so afraid (besides the rectal bleeding, which _was_ a factor).

He touched me then, so softly, so _gently_ that I expected a slap right after it. You know, how people try to confuse you by kissing you then slapping you, or the other way around? I felt my whole body go rigid.

"Do you want me to stop?" he barely said. There was so much sadness in his voice. He sounded about two hundred years old. I guess murder weighs on your soul.

No. As he _should_ be able to see right now, I was hard enough to hunt, and he _still_ had the body/ass of the gods, and I was _more_ than willing to bleed- if I had to- to get a part of _that_ again.

But.

"I... don't know." I sighed a little. "I want you," (I tried to emphasize that- tried to make it clear _exactly _how badly I wanted him), "but it's... awful, because if you do to me what you did the first time, there's so much more I have to lose now..."

Like, if he did it to me again, I might lose my feelings for him. I might lose any small trust in him that I still had. I might... lose _him_, somehow. I didn't know _how_, maybe pain is enough to drive two people apart, but anyway the thought was intolerable. However this ended, I had to see it through. I was already his. I couldn't run now, I was past that point, but...

I mean, things happen when people fuck around, you know? Sex means something to humans, whether we want it to or not.

..._Oh_... he was crying. In that moment, all my fear melted away. If he could cry, if he could lose the Mafia Man cover for even the few moments it took saltwater to escape from his eyes, then he could love me without brutalizing me. I no longer had a doubt. I wiped his tears away.

"I'm as scared as you, because I don't know how to do not to hurt you. Help me..." he whispered.

I was sure now, and I didn't hesitate. Even standing there naked while he was fully clothed, I drew myself to my full height (of _just_ shorter than him) and lifted my head. Confident. Definite. Certain.

I'd always instinctively known what the difference between love and sex was, as some people do, and I was going to explain it to this beaten man in front of me.

"Then don't fuck me, but make love to me."

I looked him straight in the eyes and said the words I knew would make the difference, the words that meant I would never have a bleeding ass again unless I asked for one: "I trust you."

I brought to my lips the fingertips that had wiped his tears away, tasting them. I spoke with the same surety as before, shaking my head slightly, smiling at him. "You won't hurt me."


	14. Chapter 14

_**Note:** Aaaand here's the ending chapter of Peeping Tom! But don't cry, our next fic will come soon! Just put us on author alert to stay tuned! Thank you to all our wondeful reviewers! Don't forget to check our respective fics too, on our personal profiles (Dlvvanzor and xxbeyondxbirthdayxx) because we are that awesome, yes, and you love us for that. What? You hate us? Aaaaah, no, you hate me (BB) because I made you believe I wouldn't put a long stupid author note in this whole fic, but you know, I had to do it at least once, I'm that annoying, and I love myself for that. Sooooo you know, we didn't get as much reviews for this one as You've got Mail, so I told myself 'hey, shouldn't I stop writing?'... scratch that, just kidding, we're not writing for reviews, but because we love it!  
Ok, I'm letting you read because Dlvvanzor will hit me for that when she reads hehehehe. See you soon wonderful readers! -BB-  
_

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**Mello:**  
"You won't hurt me." He smiled at me as he said that, and in this smile, there was so much... love?  
My heart exploded, my brain exploded (and my dick would soon too, believe me, such a smile, I was learning, could bring me almost close to climax).  
I felt new. Being someone that can be loved, and trusted, was something I would have never thought possible, and there he was, in front of me, and he was loving me, and trusting me, and giving me the confidence that I would never ever do anything bad to him again.

So I grabbed his middle and leant him on the floor, maybe a bit too suddenly because he yelped, and giggled again as his back softly touched the floor and I pecked his lips.  
"I love it when you laugh like this." I told him. It was true. His laughter reminded me of that old song by The Carpenters that I remember hearing when I was a really little kid, back when I had parents, you know, the one that says "Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be close to you"  
His laughter was like a song, like birds singing, like a beautiful woman's voice singing, like spring rain falling softly on green leaves... Oh God, see what this guy does to me...

But he was doing something more to me at that precise moment, something in my lower half.  
I got rid of my shirt and rolled it in a ball to slide it under his head, to make him a bit more comfortable.  
And I began to explore his body with my lips and tongue and hands and I couldn't get enough of his skin, of his cute little moans, of his nipples erecting as I sucked on them, of his hands in my hair, of the way he arched his back when I took his erection in my mouth, of the way he panted as I slid one, two and three fingers in him slowly...

"Please, go in... now..." he begged me with a shaky voice.  
That was all I was waiting for, my own member was aching with lust, and I had to control myself not to pound him like mad immediately. I undid the laces of my leather pants, and got rid of them quickly.  
I slid inside of him slowly, letting him time to adjust. He began moving under me, so I met his hips with mines, thrusting gently.  
I leant over him, each arm resting on the floor, on each side of his shoulders, and his hands crept on my cheeks. He held my face like this as we moved together at a slow pace, diving in each other's eyes, his widening slightly as I hit his sweet spot.

And we made love, softly, gently, without a sound, not even a moan, just our breaths, heavier, and our lips brushing together, and a whispered 'I love you' as we came.  
I was the one to whisper...

**Matt:  
**He said he loved my laugh. My annoying, girly, gay laugh. _No one_ had ever said they loved my laugh. Sometimes passersby _stared_ at me when I laughed- seriously, it was an annoying laugh. And for some reason he loved it.

More importantly, though, he said he loved me.

No one had ever loved me, as far as I knew. My parents didn't love me, which they made clear with how they treated me. The orphanage I grew up in didn't love me. Lots of girls _liked_ me, but none of them had ever _loved_ me, despite what they may have squealed to me across the hallway. I was, quite honestly, completely alone in the world.

Except, apparently, for Ten.

He loved me. The first person... okay, first _existing_ person... that I had ever loved, and he loved me back. I don't know how that happens or why. Or why such a person could want me. There was nothing _to_ me. I was chill, I was lazy, I didn't _do _anything. What was there to love? There were days I couldn't even look in the mirror, thinking about all the life I'd wasted and the above-average brain that I cheerfully turned to mush- death by video game. Where Ten was brilliantly alive, I was half-asleep. Where Ten was strong, I was mush. Where Ten was beautiful, I was a puppy dog. Where Ten was graceful, I couldn't kick a ball. Where Ten was a mystery, I was obvious. Where Ten was complex, I was simple as plain white bread.

But he was here, and he loved me, and for some unimaginable reason he _wanted_ me, wanted my body and wanted _me_, and that fact alone was enough to allow me to let it go.

It was over, but I still hadn't had enough. I wanted more of him, but not in the way I had so long ago.

It was finally love on _my _part, too.

**Mello:**  
He rolled over me, with _that_ smile. And he began to nibble at my skin, lower, and lower, and lower... I could feel my skin tingling, and my erection come back like a running horse. Especially when he used his own semen from our previous lovemaking to prepare me. God that was hot.  
He found my prostate (I don't know if it's a gamer thing to be skilled with fingers but shit, he's a god) and massaged it, making me lose it totally.  
"Take me!" I moaned. Or begged. Dunno, but I didn't care, he does that to me, I just don't care anymore how I sound or look like, he makes me even more naked than my body looks like.

He thrust into me completely, in one motion, and adopted the same position than I had a little earlier, leant over me, face to face. Except that his thrusts were growing harder, deeper, needier.  
Exactly what I wanted. Was it the difference between sex and love?  
He was pressing against my prostate with each move, and I couldn't help but meet his hips to feel even more of him, and I stopped trying to control myself. I knew I was moaning, groaning and panting but the pressure was driving me crazy. _He_ was driving me crazy, it was like being complete, full, and dominated by something bigger than life and not being scared of it, but diving into it without restrain.

No, it wasn't the difference between sex and love. It was one of the many ways we would make love, be it sweet, or wild, it would always be love... because sex would never be meaningless anymore.

"What's your name?" I murmured, as I realised just how much I cared for this man.  
He looked a bit surprised, but he replied between his pants: "Matt..."  
I smiled.  
"Why do you ask me that now of all moments?" he wondered, his questioning look on me as he was still thrusting in me so hard I was close, so close...  
"Because I want to scream your name when you make me come..."  
I think he was taken aback by my answer.

**Matt:**  
And he did scream my name, and it was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard.

Thoroughly exhausted now, I lowered myself to his side and cuddled into him. He wrapped his arms around me. "I've been calling you 'Ten' in my head this whole time," I told him.

"Ten?" he asked, puzzled. "Why?" He had more experience, and therefore more stamina- he wasn't nearly as wiped out as I was.

"Because when I was looking at you through my window, I rated you on a ten-point scale, ten being Johnny Depp, and you were a ten."

He stared at me for a moment.

"I'm not creative, okay?" I said defensively.

He smiled and kissed me quickly. "Neither am I. The best I could come up with for you was 'Cute Nerd.' Self-explanatory, I think."

"What's your real name?"

This seriously was something I should have asked a long time ago. How had it never come up?

"Mello."

The label clicked right into place. That was a strange name, but despite the fact that Mello was certainly not mellow in any way, shape, or form, it seemed to fit him. It was just as much of a juxtaposition as the rest of him was- his scar with his beautiful face, his leather with his lithe body, his angel's hair with his profession.

So I just smiled at him. "Mello," I echoed. "Nice to meet you."

He held me tighter. "Yeah."

We spent the night on the floor of my shop (which was uncomfortable), talking about everything, finding out in what ways we were different and in what ways were we alike. There weren't many similarities. There might have been two, but one of them was insignificant and I barely remember it. The other one, though- neither of us had living parents, except I was happy mine were dead and he still missed his.

"So, am I moving into your apartment or are you moving into mine?" he asked me. I think he was joking.

Problem: it sounded like a great idea to me.

"I have an actual bedroom," I pointed out. "And it would be a pain in the ass to move all my computer shit to your apartment. I mean, I wired the place specially and all..."

He gaped at me for a moment. I was right- he _had_ been joking. Well. He was gonna have to learn not to jokingly offer me things that I want. Because I'll accept them, and then he'll be backed into an awkward corner.

But he shrugged, laughing quietly. "All right," he agreed.

Excellent.

As I kissed him tenderly, and as he deepened the kiss, and as our hands held each other's faces as if they were life itself, the world became officially and irrevocably perfect.

Apparently voyeurism pays off in the end.

Three cheers for the peeping Tom.


End file.
